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you could understand. her perception of your recent behavior and actions is one based on trust or more precisely lack thereof. when she interpreted your actions they were base solely on trust and when she mentioned trust issues, it placed you on the defensive. rather than dispelling this misconception of her perception, that your behavior and concerns were instead the actions of a person who was more concerned with her safety and later maybe her comfort issues, you went into a defensive mode. this only you further into the mix of the conflict. to tell you the truth there are some holes in your story that indicates to me that there were trust issues originally but now you are back pedaling to give this a better spin. as i said for the sake of peace and, explain however that your behavior and actions were fueled solely by concerns of yours for her safety; that you imagined there were possibly unsavory types that might take advantage of any woman through force cite the close friend incidence. explain to her how your unchecked imagined fears for her safety made you act a little crazy. you STILL need to work on your trust issues as well as your communication skills. forget trying to explain or use your crude example. even if i could ameliorate the wording you used, i doubt you would have the ability to execute it. if there were not involved . i m a mom and a woman- asexual and kinkless, which shifted to radical lesbian feminist separatist and kinkless (you know, where orgasms come from the bliss of imagining a utopia populated by women holding hands and singing near and ferron songs in perfect -), which shifted to lesbian feminist submissive in training (extreme yet extremely desexualized immersion into the world of bdsm; submission and dissociation went hand-in hand, so submission could take on a very performative feel; NB: dissociation went hand-in-hand with all sorts of benign, day-to-day things), which shifted to longterm kinkless and monogamous lesbian relationship, which shifted to immersion in trauma recovery work and celibacy with everyone other than myself, which included a great deal of fantasy work, which then shifted to kinkless sexual exploration with men, which shifted to hardcore and heavily sexual D/s relationship/exploration/experiences with a in which i learned to identify and seek and engage the pursuit/satisfaction of pleasure (idiosyncratiy bundled in physical, metal and emotional terms), and which served to burn away the last lingering effects of trauma that no amount of talk therapy would ever touch, which led to a sense of independence, womanliness, curiosity and sexual agency wherein i am most keenly turned on by the thought of thoroughly kinked up play that falls outside the rubric of D/s power exchange. so. in hypercompressed sum: the thoroughly imbricated, non-causal, ourobourotic relationship between the complete shaking up of the sno-globe of my erotic/sexual orientation/identification/attractions and years of hardcore digging around in the muck of my psyche to eradicate or transmute every last shred of evidence of trauma-born terror. must launch into my day, check back later free adult nsa
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