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While I adore strong women and always have, and while a woman "taking charge" turns me on to no end (actually ONLY strong women turn me on), there really is no concern about being at this point. I am well past the point where anyone can do anything to me. While I still feel in some ways like that small blonde boy, I am not a small and have a tendency to intimidate people without meaning to. This is why I also feel confused because, for example, the one woman I fell totally in with was very strong, dominant, but small and petite so I was not only following her lead and letting her lead me to exciting experiences that I would not have on my own, at the same time I felt extremely protective of her and DID protect her. That's where my confusion between submissive and dominant comes from she was "running the show" and I only wanted to please her but I also felt like her guardian, advisor in those areas she had less experience in, etc. How can I be submissive if I feel no need to be protected by someone, and feel more like a protector? That's what I ask myself. I have actually had women I don't know come on to me very strongly, grab my hand and drag me to their bed BECAUSE they felt that I had been their protector. (stopping abusive men from harassing them in a bar, etc.) I do have some very dominant aspects to my personality. That's why I feel confused. new burgh girls fuckingthe effort shown by Poet and her family. She said they flew down, made sure someone was there with him in the ER, they did step up to the plate during a crisis. And there WAS a crisis, the almost died and has complications because of it. I don't know, but I think the reaction to take control comes from fear. Take control of something and you feel less afraid. There are also lines we all must draw, you speak of safety and I agree with someone stepping in when it comes to driving. That's an activity that puts OTHERS at risk. That's a far cry from someone perhaps not doing what's needed to protect themselves. And as far as compassion, I'm sorry you're dealing with it and I have real feelings for what Poet and her husband are dealing with. I struggled during those times, struggled hard. I spoke with my father's psychologist and when it was my stepdad's time it was just as hard. None of those choices and decisions came without consequences none. I had to decide to have my father go to a home designed to care for Huntington's patients away. Idaho doesn't have facilities and his daughter was there. When it was time for my stepfather to get permanent help(he was living in our home), he killed himself on the lawn but it was HIS choice. I do not fault him, I know what he was dealing with. I had to come to grips with feeling relief that I didn't have to clean his shit off the bathroom floor anymore. Wonder if there was some other option I could have offered but I know he didn't want more. It's not easy and heartache is part of the package. Like I said to Poet, I strongly suggest speaking with the care providers and friends. It's OK to be afraid, feel bad and confused. You're human. It's Ok to WANT to take control and give the you know you can. It takes a LOT of strength not to. to best for you and poet really do. friend finder
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