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book geek looking for friends it seems easy to be dispassionate about this from my side of the monitor but from yours I can imagine a lot of anger, hurt and introspection. So here is the best I can come up with. Think of the absolutely worst thing you've done during the your marriage that she has no idea about. If she knew that thing, would she be inclined to divorce you over it? If so, then I think she gets a hall pass because you know in your heart you've got a secret of comparable proportion and the only difference is that hers is known. I don't know if that's good advice or not and I'm not sure I could follow it even if I was in your shoes but hers was likely an indiscretion fueled by your being gone. No, you didn't light the fire but you left the matches on the table.
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