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is the problem. poor couples manage to make it work in the marriage, and wealthy couples split over money. So it's not so much the lack of or abundance of money that matters in a marriage, but how the couple handles disagreements over money. Seems quite clear to me: Those couples who agree and work together as a team pull through the tough times. Those who stubbornly and selfishly stick to their own wants/needs, won't. You asked for tips clipping coupons and scaling back spending is one side of it. But more importantly, you and your wife must work out the solutions together and be in total agreement about everything. There be some things you won't budge on, and others that she won't budge on. Find ways to allow each of you to have SOME of those things so you won't feel cheated. Remember that as important as it is to you to have cable, it's just as important to her to have her hair done. Even if a thing seems frivilous to you, it not be frivilous to HER. And visa versa. Respect and compromise. Second, have regular meetings to manage the budget together, where the savings has been and renegotiate what needs to be done. Every night, or every week, whatever works best. And BOTH of you need to be fully involved. This habit more than any other has helped DH and me to stay on the same together and our budget absolutely WORKS. This way, we're held accountable to each other and to that budget, and there are no surprises. Inevitably, things come up which must be dealt with brake service, medical bills, broken water heater. By having these regular meetings, it's easier to adjust spending to take care of that thing. I know his thoughts, he knows mine, and we find solutions quite easily now. married man home alone next weekyou asked for advice about how to handle a situation, but you don't seem to want any of it. folks here have done a masterful job in explaining why it is not okay for a parent to favor, the impact of not parenting as a team on the and the marriage, and some posters have even shared their personal experiences of growing up in a home like yours. then folks have given concrete advice about how to address these problems: therapy, working together as parents, having a family meeting including the mother, divorce, letting your move out, etc. the way that your husband treats you and favors his is a really big problem. i don't know how to get this across. if you do nothing, your resent you for putting him in this situation, the step be spoiled indulgent adults, and i'd be amazed if your marriage survived. if you don't want advice, then why did you post? make friends online
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