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It was an ex, but I didn't know at that time that they had ever dated they dated after his first divorce, and he had always said "No, we never dated, we were just friends." Until I found a greeting card in his shoe from her saying "I you." His explanation up until then was that she was his "best friend" because we had just moved out-of-state. The thing that struck me as most odd about that first initial discovery was that he immediately said "I just won't talk to her anymore." I was asking "What the hell? There's more to this story, isn't there? Why would you just cut her off like that if she is your good friend?" It was particularly suspicious because I was aware of what I thought was their friendship, and I had never discouraged him from being friends with her. I respected it. I look back and how his story developed (and changed) throughout the next year, until I kicked him out, and he admitted to me that his first wife had caught him in bed with this woman. In his warped mind, although he wouldn't admit to me what he had done to me, he thought that if he admitted part of the truth about his ex-wife, that maybe I would think he was telling the truth when he continued to deny ever having cheated on me. The whole relationship was one big, fat lie on his part. From Day 1. hot bi dude for partyBut honestly, you have only yourself to blame. Why you would consent to this sort of relationship is beyond understanding. Either sex matters to you, or it doesn't. Yours is a perfect example of why isn't always enough. At some point early on, you went along with a mechanical sex routine for the sole purpose of getting her pregnant. Why? Why, when she told you she was asexual, did you accept her answer, and agree to her terms, that you would also give up sex for the rest of your life? The whole thing is just ridiculous! Just reading this is annoying. Are you a or a mouse? Skip that. It sounds mean, and no doubt you're suffering already. But dude, if you've finally had enough of this celibacy, lay it down. Tell her you are going to get laid, period. The only question is whether it's with her, or without her. Whether you take a lover and live with her or without her, or you get a divorce and go separate ways. Then work out the details. Surely if you have a strong friendship outside of bed, she's aware that you have unmet needs. She knows her demands/expectations are selfish to the extreme. BTW, don't fool yourself about your. They're aware that something is off with your marriage. Sex is a natural part of a marriage, and this standoff you've been tolerating is a horrible model for them to emulate. You've given up too much already. Set things right, or enjoy your relationship with your hand. Or does she forbid that, too? Sheesh! sex hot woman
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