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can a woman who has had a 'not-so-great/non-existant' relationship with her mother still create a lesbian relationship with another woman? i'm afraid i'll either pick someone like 'Mother' or maybe even end up acting like her. therapist seem to suggest that i need to take my place in the family hierarchy whether or not the woman at the top is accountable for her behavior, past/present. i feel like keeping my distance from unaccountable people even if they're relatives, and especially if they feel entitled to the top spot in the hierarchy without assuming leadership and accountability on the matter of emotional and psychological. it's not exactly like i feel safe knowing my needs in such a relationship are not likely to be met why even put myself in a position to have to "ask mommy" to meet my needs in relationship (as appears to be the "therapeutic" route: "relationships with our mothers are so -") when this real person has given no indication of interest in creating an open, direct and honest relationship? when what she appears to want is respect for her position of authority alone and that it is i who am accountable to her? i'd rather spend my time and energy creating relationships with people who are intentionally interested in such things but it's tough to make a decision to set that boundary with her so far out like she is just another person I know, and one I don't happen to want a close relationship with anybody been there? i appreciate your feedback if you have any Red Wing swingers fuckingAs I it so far, we have roughly this exchange going on P1: Our play can hurt sometimes. P2. It hurt you, but it doesn't hurt me. Now shut the fuck up. That's one fucked up bdsm scene, in my opinion. And it's a sad statement about our (in)ability to act as participants, let alone experts, in consensual anything. Right now the best that can be said is that we're good at being a bad example. I we can bring this back to some kind of center. And while I'm motivated to write this because of the current discussion about how to deal with the more graphic content, it's actually been a problem here for longer than that, at least to me. There's been a really unpleasant thread of just out and out shitty behavior here for at least the past month. A good example is when someone wanders in and asks an innocent or even totally ignorant question, there seems to be almost a koi-like feeding frenzy to who can be the first and meanest to ridicule them with "that's not kinky" or "take it to the rofo" or "learn to use e." I don't know what's triggered this kind of behavior, but even before this discussion it was almost enough to have me simply stop participating here. There's bdsm, and then there's *just plain violence*, and we seem to be having real trouble recognizing where the boundary is. I we keep talking about it enough to be able to find it again and get back on the rght side of it.. Suggestions to follow later, if anyone wants them. dating adult
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