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hot meets Southaven that I am neither nor straight. I am grammatosexual, or lexicosexual, or something I haven't decided on a name for yet. It's happened too times. I meet a really hot woman butch, femme, sporty, whatever insanely hot, radiating sex and confidence and steam. And then she writes me a letter, or a poem, or even a goddamn birthday card. Or I read her CV/cover letter. And it looks like it was written by a third grader. Oh lord. I dry up like the Mojave, and nothing can bring those feelings back. Why, God, why? When I think of all the amazing sex I've missed out on I want to cry. And so, in my case, it doesn't matter how you are or whether you look like a lesbian or a hetero. I could never fuck you. We can never adopt a shelter dog together or buy a Subaru or process publicly over lunch at the vegan diner. Dang.
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