live laugh & love Well im a 24 year old girl. Im single dont have any have my own car and full time job. Im trying to see if this thing works for me because i guess im not much of a partier and the guys at the bar are not really there to get to know someone haha. Well anyways im not a club pop bottles type of person anymore. Yea im but not that. lol Im a sports bar (bar) type of person i like to have a few bruskies and if i want to go dance or have a girls night ill hit up cinci. :) Not too much in the whole club scene anymore im really trying to see if im able to get to know someone seriously. Im looking for friends and to chat with ppl but at the same time i want to get to know someone on another level. NO drama. I dont have , and i dont mind but i dont want any drama as far as the whole mama thing. im a very spontanous person im always smiling and very cheerful. I like to have a few bruskies so im looking for someone who i can be myself with and wont judge me im a big girl so that has to be good with you. Not shallow but lets be real for you and me there had to be some type of attraction between us. That goes both ways right?! :). If you have gotten this far as reading my essay haha.HMU im sure if nothing serious comes out of it we can be friends!! :D Array sexy dutch french girl k i s s i n g me 21Rambling A over a year ago, I passed up the chance of having the one person I always wanted, because I wanted my freedom. I wanted just myself again, afer years of trying to love someone else, who was determined to erase my existence I guess we could say. I said mean, heartless things that I regret.I was drowning in mid air trying to the reality of everything happening around me, that I hurt the one person I never wanted to hurt. I think back to those conversations a lot of times I just want to cry, how could I let someone break me down so badly, that all I could say to the one person I actually loved was harsh, shattering words? How in the world did I let things get so out of control, that I couldnt even control myself? Then the hundreds of memories of the love I so wanted flashes through, its just.. a hurricane of mixed emotions.. Then I block everything out, its too overwhelming for me to deal with. Tears are not something I wish to shed. I couldnt apologize even though I want to, nothing I could say or do, could erase what I said and did. Time doesnt rewind, there are no do overs. All that because at the time, I wanted myself and my freedom. Well I got my freedom and myself. Turns out I've too much freedom these days. Most nights I lay awake with a thousand memories, words, or just random thoughts rambling through my mind, to fall asleep and dream of the love I once upon a time knew. I guess the upside is I dont dream every night, well not that i always re, but these days its that I sleep. Its crazy to me, that I gave up the chance because I wasnt exactly sure if what I believed I wanted was what I wanted or thoughts of someone else. Makes no sense im sure. But now that I've had this year to myself, the freedom of doing whatever I please, no one hounding me, or trying to change who I am, Ive realized a lot of things. Like that I always changed what I said I wanted in a guy over the years.. example "I don't like little guys I like bigger guys". Only I wasnt cl absolute free swingers Perm cute girl
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