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Now you're asking how you fix it but in your previous post what did you say? My situation is different ie: SPECIAL That is the selfishness of your condition, a condition YOU are responsible for. That's right YOU. No, you're not responsible for your parent dying, nor perhaps % for the lack of employment but you are responsible for your reactions to them. Saying your situation is special is the ultimate cop out, a way of deflecting taking actual action so is the helpless routine, oh, how do I cope? I don't KNOW Look, I've been there. It was a really big factor in my first marriage failing. Faced with shit that happens in life I played the MY shit is harder than your's card and well yeah, to ME it was. Took a lot for me to let that go, took WORSE things to happen in order for me to stop adding to the shit going on in my life with my own inactions. Like I said, I had my laundry list too. I found out that once I got it through my thick fucking skull that feeling shitty about my situation wasn't going to do me any good and sure as fuck didn't excuse me from making my life better well what do you know, I got better. You want reasons why you can't do something? Fuck, too damn easy I'm sure you've got a ton of 'em. Too poor, too 'damaged' by your parent's death, no job, don't know how I'm sure you've got more. Fact is that the effort has to come from you, perhaps posting here was a start, you took the time to write on a board and get opinions..fine, you got some. So know what are you going to do? Help is out there, books both online and in hard copy articles for free and if you're unemployed, you've got some time to read now don't you? Also getting involved with LIFE, even if it's just a walk in the park or a visit to a coffee shop, get out and DO SOMETHING. We are all responsible for our own condition. That doesn't mean we won't feel sadness or times of helplessness it means it's up to us to DO something about it. These things you list that stop you they would be NICE but not absolutely necessary. Your effort is. snowy play date
Let's look at the irrational side of you, since that's the only control you actually have here. 1. She can be very stubborn but is this a way of coping, never talking to someone again, is it easier that way. You aren't her, you can say all you want about how she's stubborn but she has every fucking right to be. It's very selfish to think you know what's the right course of action for another person because it fits your idea of who and what a person should be. You need to look at who you are and do what you can to stop fucking trying to if you can twist her into what you think she should be. 2. I just cannot erase her from my life like it never happened and don't feel that is for adults who shared so much. No, you can't just erase her from your life our lives are what they are and we have to learn to deal with it but as for your follow up well so fucking what? Again your opinion of what is for an adult doesn't mean you're right. I know lots of people who've done very well never speaking to an ex again. Closing a door and moving on and no, it's NOT like nothing ever happened but they don't feel the need to stay connected, that's up to them. 3. Is it easier just to avoid someone you were so deeply in with rather than seeing/talking to them and if so why? I don't know but I do know that low to no contact is my rule of thumb. Doesn't mean it's fucking easy, heartbreak is painful but who needs to pull on the heart strings? As far as you getting how she does it well your focus is assbackwards here. You need to focus on how YOU do it. You don't get to make the rules about how she lives her life. She wants to be friends that's up to her. Now as far as the goes, that really sucks. Been there done that and have the height marks on the wall to prove it. IF you want to have any shot at remaining a part of the kid's life then make it about the and only the. No "Hi, how are you", nope request some time. Do so via or text, keep it short and to the point. And let her know you stop all other contact. One part of Mature behavior is learning to keep it about your own It's fucking hard as hell but it's the road out. discrete no sex chat for free just sexor you can command it. In my experience, the results are a lot more positive from the latter. That doesn't mean you shouldn't talk about being, and I never said that. I said it didn't have to be a political action every time you do it. I have had far, far more positive results by simply talking about being the same way a straight person would talk about being straight (talking about cute girls, the gf, why women are so insane) than by getting in people's faces or deliberately trying to make them uncomfortable. hot women having sex
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