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"The fact he is coming out is not bad.. it was just upsetting that his wife was totally unaware of it." Not to trivialize the situation, but that line strongly suggests that her reaction is mainly a response to a surprise. Even the nastiest surprise stops being surprising after a while; or to put in in other words, if she gives herself time, she'll get over her upset. For closeted men, it takes a lot of backbone to come out, so the husband's inability to confront the simple truth that he's queer, a dirty fag, a nasty fudgepacker, and he's going to break out in a pink feather boa any minute that inability is entirely understandable. Of course, as out men we know that none of those pejorative remarks are valid (except possibly the pink feather boa part), but it takes time to realize that being queer isn't the same as being some kind of subhuman. From where I sit, the most serious aspect of the situation looks to be the husband's drinking problem. If he asked me for my advice, I'll tell him to smell the coffee, admit he's queer (in some sense or other, whatever floats his boat), stop the drinking and dramatizing, realize he's acting out all the lies he's been told about gays, straighten up his back, and confront the future with a smile on his lips. "Acting out all the lies he's been told about gays." IOW, he's giving power to the people who promulgate those lies; is that what he wants, to let those cocksuckers control the way he leads his life? A better reaction is cold rage at being lied to. Calafell nude chatI'm 30. I'm about a year out of a (about) 7 year relationship. I'm really having a hard time finding some one that I click with. It took me about 23 years to find a woman I could '-'. Now that I have had a taste of what a real relationship can be like I feel so vary lonely now. I'm worse off now in my heart that I was before I knew what life could be like with a true lover. I feel utterly depressed. I do my best to not show it but it is ever present. I'm sure it shows, or at least perceptive people can sense it. I'm not sure if it is/one of the projections that be keeping wemen away. I really do not know what to do. Well aside from keeping a smile on and focusing upon the positive in life. Yet sadly it feels to not to be enough. I really do not know what to do. I by found a good woman now I'm not sure if I ever find another woman of quality. I really do not know what to do to fix this emptiness. This loneliness. This need for a companion that I can respect and hopefully. couples seeking teens
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