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you can get past your defensive posture here I'm going to suggest you do something because I think something you just wrote might give you a little insight. I'm going to pull the quotes right out of your post. 'its how I respond to everyone I don't like I am even doing it here' 'I still had to play nice, but moving her knick knacks and throwing a pebble on her floor were mild revenge.' Now, I did say I agree with going reasonable in divorce, calmer you are the better but what's also occuring here is you using your ability to be rational as a weapon and as justification for your actions. You are rationalizing away each poke at you, each time someone say's 'hey, wait a minute that's not cool' being nice when you would rather punch someone in the face is 'mature' um, not always. Not when it's being done to bolster your position for an advantage and control. That's cold and calculating, manipulative wait for the mistake and sieze the opportunity. I should know, it's a tool I use..especially at work, in business and yes, I used it in my divorce. I KNOW I'm being calculating and manipulative. Take the stupid cup trick and your rationalization of why its no big deal because this pulled a lot of crap on you and you were feeling what? Annoyed and mischievous and it was 'mild revenge'., what you pull is playful cute..it's MILD..what others do is much worse isn't it? Now, read back through your posting history, no context..don't rationalize by saying 'oh yeah but - what I was defending' just you and your words. You really want to WIN the argument, not resolve an issue they're different goals. In divorce negotiation fuck I want to win the argument too, in some business stuff too but be very careful in how far you go and what you end up ultimately teaching here. because at some point you need to move off your upper hand position and get to the real goal, an indifference to your ex and resolution to managing/fostering a good relationship between her and her father. Where you don't have to exert ANY control. swinger female Gary
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