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First you have to identify, even vaguely, what the problem is. Then flip a coin to who goes first. It's like a tennis game. The first one outlines the problem. Keep it as short as possible. The other person has to paraphrase in their own words what the first person said, to the first person and keep it up until the first person agrees that the other "gets it right". Then it's the other person's turn to make their case and the first person has to paraphrase in their own words what the other person said until the other person agrees that the first person "gets it right". Volley that ball back and forth for an hour and you both understand the situation sooo much better than a straight forward power struggle to plow your way to the finish line. At that point it ain't over, but it's probably 60% down the road to a conclusion. With that behind you, odds are in your favor that the two of you can find a solution, without drawing blood, that you both can live with. It tugs on your empathy rather than anger. Give it a shot. married awomen fuckingThe thing about D/s is (and I think DG touched on this) is that you can be creative in the way you manifest your own special brand of power exchange. It's YOUR D/s relationship, so you and your husband dictate what you guys do. It's of no consequence to you guys how it's viewed by others, or if it's "real" or "true" or any other bullshit little concepts people around you throw out. (And you meet those people: the "true" Dominant/sub types, who think D/s is only one way-usually theirs. Those people are to be avoided, because they attempt to sabotage and make you feel inferior for their own ego's nourishment.) Start small. Talk about any and everything as it comes along. Talk about how you'd like to act in public. Example: Would he want you to walk a stride or two behind him? Would he want you to sit on one side of him specifiy? Would he want to do all the talking in certain social situations? Would you wear any tokens of ownership like a collar or a bracelet? Would you tell other people? Talk about what you'd do at home. Example: Would certain chores be yours alone? And would he inspect the work? If so, to what level does he want? Would you refer to him by a title or continue to use his name? Would there be decisions you can make without his input, or does he want to know exactly what's going on anytime he asks? Would there be certain things he would want done daily? (Example: Upon arrival home from work, would he want dinner out or at least in progress ? Would he want something to drink? His leisure clothes laid out in advance? Take your daily routine and start imagining how you can shape and retool it to include D/s. I think you'll be quite pleased with the process, let alone the results. match dating
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