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to make it past the age of 21 without baggage then you are living in a fantasy world. Those of us here on Earth like to that denial. Sure, I've had my fair share of ups and downs but that doesn't make me any less worthy. It doesn't mean that I'm better or worse than anyone. It just means that I am who I am, scars and all. The OP seems to be looking for a perfect woman that has been kept safe in a tower all these years being groomed to his specifications and patiently awaiting his arrival. I, on the other hand, understand that no one is perfect. The I'm with isn't perfect either, but I would never hesitate to introduce him to my family or friends. Sometimes he snaps at me when he's angry. Sometimes I forget to do something I said I would. He leaves the toilet seat up. I drink the last of the milk. I have tattoos and he has a receding hairline. We both cuss when it's acceptable and we are both professionals when it's appropriate. We both hockey. We both want a family. I was raised Baptist, he was raised Catholic and now we're both athiest-leaning agnostics. I got exactly what I was looking for because it's what I put out into the world. My point is, you never really know how well-suited a person be for you until you get to know them. OP is so specific with his "list" that he's not likely going to find a truly great woman because he can't look past a few rather petty things and get to know her. I never said I didn't have baggage. We all do. Even the OP. He's 43, never been married and thinks WAY to highly of his mother's opinion. His stats don't exactly scream perfection. It probably doesn't help that he's sitting rather high up on his throne of self-righteousness waiting for the perfect woman to present herself to him instead of going out into the world and doing something that might actually make himself available to one. It is our baggage that makes us who we are, even you, you mangy ol' mutt. looking to get sucked and maybe suckThe very first thing I want to tell you is try to stop judging yourself harshly. It's ok to be who you are right now of course you're confused and eventually you won't be. Take one day at a time (I know that sound simple and like some sort of stupid advice you hear all the time but really you have a lifetime ahead of you so being slow and easy might help) don't allow yourself to wreck going to school and any other plans you have for your future and just take little steps like getting yourself in a place where you have independence from your family. Make a plan so you are autonomous. Make sure you have emotional support! Find either a counselor (not a minister..or a member of your church because that NOT help) or find some kind of support group that is local. I can not stress this enough! Please don't try to go this alone. I wish you well one dating adult
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