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I wasn't asking you to leave, just wondering why the pessimism. I had a career, then after tooooo years lost the battle near the top (never was any good at the politics bit), and realised I'd be happier with just a job and a life . got my sense of humour back as well ;-) I bummed around a few months, did some work in sales (because somebody told me I'd be no good at it and I'm 'ornery; increased their turnover % in 3 months :-) then BS'd myself into a job travelling Europe and the Americas took 2 months of interviews though and lots of looks that said "I know I'm not ageist so what reason can I give to say no to this wrinkly!". Hold on I'm writing my memoirs here ;-) Give us some more details of what you're looking to do/improve/change and the wisdom of the Grey Panther Posters here help if they can do women like being rimmedBut actually doing it scares the shit out of you. You're afraid that it might be WORSE than it is now if you do. To actually fix it you'll have to lose that hole card you're playing..you have to let go of the you went through MAKING you project.. There is a warm safety in that isn't there? The shit I went through or am going through is causing me to xxx. Can you how it 'fixes' everything? Right there it isn't mice doing these things..its the mice went through. Oh..I've got a load of shit but I'm a victim here and it isn't fair. That's why you feel guilty about it mice you know at this point you CAN control it if you really want to but that means its YOU. So you start in on yourself and fight this internal battle. 1. Your unhappiness is valid fuck it is what it is..unhappiness. Say it I am unhappy!! Now say so what? 2. I can't control what happened in the past but I can control my future..right or wrong this life is MINE. 3. I am the one who treat me right. I insist that I do it and I do what I feel I need to do in order to be able to provide for me. I not fault others for that any longer. 4. I am not/have not been ready to do that. In other words, you be. That becomes possible only when you decide to no longer use your as an excuse for the choices you make today. You need to be patient with yourself but also determined. Take a look around..I know you believe these other people facing challenges are sooo much stronger..no, no they're not. It is and was hard for them too. No..your not that special mice, you aren't as weak as you claim, nor are they as strong as you've made them. We're at eye level..that pit you feel like you're in and the pedestal you think they are on isn't there. meet horny
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