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I can assure you that the sexual contact lasted for 10 months. The emotional affair probably lasted longer. She claims it was "on again and off again. Mostly off." But apparently they carried on sexually through his birthday (October), her birthday (December), my birthday (-), and our anniversary (-). Her birthday was most painful. She had us go to their house for dinner that night, I felt like I needed to keep an eye on her. I'll never forget the smug look in his eye that night. At one point, the conversation turned towards divorce for adultery, and things felt weird. I was very uncomfortable. Later they e-mailed each other about how I was "starting to open up." She also spent Thanksgiving last year at their house. I was sick with a stomach virus, and she told me something along the lines of "there's a cold turkey in the 'fridge, but we're going." She and my went over to their house for the holiday meal. I didn't eat that day, partly from being sick but also I felt wounded emotionally. We spent Halloween together, our two families, letting the go around to get from a neighborhood event. I felt like I needed to keep an eye on her then, too. This was about a week after I came to bed and she would not look me in the eye. She pretended to be asleep, but kept her head facing the opposite direction, and looked at me through the corner of her eye. I sensed what that look meant. It seems to me that they met through the day-care, when they both had too much time to waste, while their respective spouses were working hard to support their families. And this is how they repaid us. How do we resolve this? I don't know that it can be resolved. As you say, I'm sure my the scars of this. I don't want him to grow up to cheat on his girlfriends/wives, but cannot help to feel that he. Am I sending the wrong message to my by wanting reconciliation rather than a quick break? I shared the link to my OP with my wife. I want her to discuss it with me. I also sent an e-mail to the wife of the scumbag who my wife had sex with. If she s me, I talk to her candidly. If she chooses not to , I assume that she knows the worst. She must already know on some level, but I feel she deserves to know the truth. I would have wanted her to contact me. we can be strictly platonic friends
You've been married for years and it seems like a "typical" marriage in that nothing's perfect but you get along and seem to generally be going in the same direction. Up to this point in your narrative the only thing I can that is wrong on any count is that you don't seem to be too head-over-heels about your wife and give no indication that you ever were. You say that you her but that she isn't sufficient in and of herself for you. Given this information (and what follows) perhaps you should consider an alternative lifestyle such as being single or discussing an open relationship with your wife. I don't often suggest this, but you just don't strike me as the monogamous type and I think your wife needs to be given the opportunity to decide for herself whether or not she can deal with you as you really are versus who she no doubt thinks you are. Looking back over missed opportunities only makes you human, cheating on your fiancee just before your wedding should have been your first clue that this whole married thing probably wasn't going to work out for you. The subsequent hook-ups (both pending and consummated) should be a further indication that you most likely weren't ready to get married when you did, at least not in the traditional sense. I strongly support the notion that the only rules to being married are the rules that the married couple themselves make at the time they get married (and adjust as necessary while they are married) but the rules need to be fair and they need to be discussed and agreed upon by both parties before implementing them. If you suggest to your wife that you both be allowed to have sex with other people and she agrees, in my mind you have carte so as you maintain yourself inside the parameters of the conditions she sets forth. If she doesn't agree you owe it to her and to yourself to either remain faithful to your wife or do the honorable thing and let her go so she can find someone who can build a more honest relationship with her. sucks coming home to an empty houseI know, lame, but I've made a lot of nice food in restaurants. But most of it was under the direction of chefs. When I've been asked to come up with specials, I can usually do something nice but it depends on what I have on hand. I'm still searching for my own voice as far as having a personal style is concerned. chatting dating
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