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You know what you're seeing? You are at the stage where putting the best foot forward is no longer the reality. Each of you is starting to show who they really are, oh you're trying to still play the game to an extent, molding your behavior because you're afraid of her reacting to the compliments is an example of it. Only problem with that game is that you can't sustain it, takes too much energy. You know, the only person who really gets us is ourself. You have to communicate that, it's not fair to do it in codes like sarcasm to cover it up. That's a way of avoiding the consequences of what you say, using the "well if you got me you'd understand" bullshit is just that. This is coming from a person with a sarcastic sense of humor. If you want her to "get" you, YOU have to allow her to. That means showing what you really mean, not keep her guessing. Address the real issues in a real sense and use your humor to point out the ironies of life. You probably do need to change your ways to an extent, at least your attitude in placing the responsibility of everyone to figure you out on them or it lead to a lot of issues down the road, not just this relationship. So this is what you do, TALK to her. Just like you've done here to a bunch of people you don't know. Without sarcasm and the cover that it provides so that you SHOW her the real you. No fear and let the chips fall. Your compliments are true and heartfelt right? TELL HER, you're making her figure it out when you'll use sarcasm in one instance and then turn around and do the deadpan dark shit on her the next. Let her know the compliments are going to come, because you think she has qualities you like. NEVER use those against her later in some sarcastic tone. Give it a shot met thru a mutual friend years ago
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