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and in martial arts, people are taught to use the movements of an opponent against him/her. I a glaring opportunity for you to put this into action with your husband. The next time he asks what kind of person you must be to be around (whomever)? Act surprised, like he's inspired an "ah-ha" moment, and respond with, "OMG, you're right! What kind of person am I to be around YOU?!" Methinks such a dialog would be best applied after you've reached out to your local domestic violence center and your exit plan is firmly in place. Be aware that the time when an abuser is most dangerous is when their victim is leaving/about to leave. So my flippant remark might be best kept inside the safety of your head, or it could cost you your life. But he can't control your thoughts, and hopefully, your thoughts lead to actions. Please, let it be so. blonde chubby in 31313That IS something that tops struggle with maintaining their mystique while still being human. It's a hard dance and I worry about it more as I try to step into a more Dominant role for the first time. I worry about a lot but I educate myself on different topics, discuss with her till the cows come home, make decisions based on what I've learned and feel and then I commit to the action, once it is time to act, discussion with words sort of ceases. There are lots of kinds of discussion though the pain I deal to her reactions in the moment are very much a discussion that I have to continue paying attention to, there is a lot of nuance for the top I think a lot of texture that I don't think bottoms very often from their and you have the hindrance trying to maintain that Wizard of Oz curtain all the while so they don't have to the "regular guy" when that isn't what they want. online relationships
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