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I do get that I be second in a way, but you’ve stated it much more eloquently than I could, thank you. While my bf cares about me and my comfort, he already has this closer relationship with his. If I wasn’t going to be living with the, that would be fantastic-if it was just a weekly visit or whatever, great. But I’m out of my element planning on them moving in and me being witness to the current dynamic. I’m trying to formulate my words so that they come out right before talking to him, because how I bring it up determines how defensive BF get. I don’t want to mess with the father relationship, but I also don’t want to my BF helping his TOO much when he can’t even afford shoes for himself, which I translate into diapers for the. His rent help, and I know he is generous and help with the, but I also don’t want that to add to his credit debt so he can feed his adult. In a normal world the moving in would never be an issue, but it is. So what would be a good way to get my point across? Maybe, “I know your always come first, but you have a new one on the way. I want to make sure he doesn’t treat rent like his cell phone, and that you’re still helping with the instead of helping him-can he pay his rent and phone months at a time when his loans are disbursed so he is sure to budget for that? And it be refunded if he moves? Also, let’s split the food ways and he can have free access to the food? That is still a cheap amount to pay to live somewhere and make me feel like things are fair.” To me that still sounds controlling, and I admit I’m a little controlling-BF knows it about me, I admit it. I really don’t want to get in the way of their relationship. I want his to bring grandbabies over some day and like me. I WANT to just be ok with him eating food and buying his $12 giant beer bottles when he didn’t pay his cell phone, but I know myself, and I won’t. It’s not really my business, but it’s my bf’s money. looking for that one special one for serious relationship
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