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First, ignore dopler/don'tmarry he is excessively hateful in his "advice." We went through a last year in Northern Cal the attorneys come up with a couple names and they and the judge agree on an evaluator. My attorney warned me that are very "pro-dad" so maybe your attorney can find one of those. You and the -'s mother be pyschologiy evaluated and interviewed at least twice. Remember, honesty is the best policy don't try to game the tests you'll just end up looking worse. You probably both be observed with the in your respective homes or the go to an office to be "interviewed" by the evaluator. It is good to have notes or a log of areas of concern and you can have friends, neighbors, family members write letters of support for your parenting skills. I strongly recommend a parenting class esp since you admit to physical punishment of the. My ex was told to take a parenting class by the judge and he did not. I was not told to take one and I did it was one of the reasons I got primary custody. My attorney had me focus on the home environment make sure the and the house looked picture perfect for the home visit. Make it kid friendly and fun but also clean and organized and wholesome; Present yourself as relaxed and responsible. The evaluator is a surrogate for the judge the judge can still go against the evaluators recommendations but they usually don't. So pretend the evaluator is the judge and act accordingly. Good luck! give a suck jobOK .divorced over a year (her wishes), separated for 3 years (traumatic separation, my fault). wonderful, house, pool, picket fence, volvo (i'm kidding about the volvo). We are both hard working professionals. No substance or health issues. We have been in this "mending" mode since the separation. Neither of us has dated other people. I am in an apt., paying support, the whole drill. Here's the bottom line. I have been very clear of my wishes to put this relationship back together and for us both to start living under the same roof again. We have been to couples counseling, wrote letters, phone s, dates, no dates, done everything except stand upside down and do the two step. She is still not able to say "yes, move back in and lets proceed". I am at the end of my rope and really feel it's time to start settling in to a new life. It's very scary to think of ending this but the writing appears to be on the wall. She tells me she loves me more than anyone in the world and to give her more time. I can't really hear that anymore, and believe it, as I remain the "outsider". I want sincere answers, not scolding. I am a good person, work hard, and did not plan on falling for another woman in this life. Here's the questions; Is there life after divorce? and/or Is it possible to have a thriving relationship with an ex after an affair? I am particularly interested in hearing from the females of the crowd. Again, I have been scolded and beat up already, I am looking for intelligent advice. seeking my soulmate
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