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Sorry if the headline sounded harsh, but we have a tendency to frame things in a certain light in order to rationalize an action we wish to take. To tell you why he is doing it would be presumptuous on my part. There are so reasons that would explain this: 1) Do you argue earlier in the day and he had not gotten over it? (my ex- would me everything but a human being and then expect me to hop in the sack with her) 2) Does he work too hours? 3) Do you deny him when he is in the mood? (The only time we did was when SHE felt like it) 4a) Is it a satisfying experience for him? 4b) Do you both get something out of it when you do? (My ex- was the slam, bam, jump up and run kind of girl. The "moment" hadn't even finished when she was telling me what to do the rest of the day. I think she felt that now that I got a little, she can run my life the rest of the week) 5) Has he been in for a physical recently? 6) Sometimes, even if the "mood" is gone (he takes too of a shower) capture the moment anyways when he comes to bed. It is rare (except on a honeymoon when everyone is always in the mood) that both partners are exactly in sync and "in the mood". I was always expected to be willing when she wanted, she never was when I was in the "mood". After a few years, my "moods" diminished and it was less important to me. It evolved into a power play by her and I did not wish to play. I focused my energy on work and the (skiing, fishing, snowmobiling, fairs, etc) instead of playing her game. Before you decide to "take our 2 boys and leave" think and hard about the impact this have on their lives. Divorce is not a good thing for no matter how justified we think we are in our own minds about it. They do not care whether you or your husband are getting laid. They care about the effects of the divorce have on them: when they are with you, they their father. When they are with your ex-husband, they you. Lastly, when they find out why you filed for divorce (he was masturbating to porn) I seriously doubt anyone agree it is a basis for tearing a family apart. Joint counseling help. For what it is worth .. A~ sex seeking women Bad Neuenahr-AhrweilerYou are so green and have no idea what you are talking about so stop trying to act like it. You are and its quite obvious you do not know what you want and this chic is not the woman of your dreams. You want to know why you think she is the greatest?.. It's because you are new to her and you haven't had the to experience anything real besides spending some good times in and out of the sack. Just because you agree on what you want for your future does not mean it go as planned. Can you not that you are both infatuated with eachother? Wait till you move in and then take on the responsibility of her and the relationship. Wait till she is totally dependent on you. Right now its the shit because she goes home to her husband and HE has to deal with the real Her. YOu should not be the one to have the choice on whether to make it work. And how dare you sit there and compare your wife to something that isn't even real. You have already answered your question and its quite obvious you are hesitant to try to work it out. You are stuck on a fantasy. I your wife gets some self esteem and realizes she made a mistake and married too. I the other aldulter's husband leaves her and then you are left with the responsibility of picking up the pieces. And remember this once a cheater always a cheater. Do not ever think you are special and that she won't do the same to you. How about you grow up and do your wife a favor and divorce her. SHe thank you in the future when she finds herself and a REAL. swingers personals
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