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A person once told me that I had to remember. They said I had to remember that in the entire history of the universe you’re the only ‘you’ that has ever existed and ever exist. They sheeted my ego and went onto to say that there’s nobody in existence who is you and no one can ever the world the way you it and can tell the rest of us how it looks and this perspective might be so different and so beautiful that it changes everything. I wonder about beauty now when I think of those words. Male Beauty. Female Beauty. Androgynous Beauty. When I realized the power of truly becoming an individual my mind became a cradle and I finally felt a sense of home. I want to find and reach out to a woman who feels the same, that artist who is constantly hunting, stalking, lusting for more. My mind drifts idily as I sit in this warmly lit tea and coffee shop, fingers braced against keyboard and thoughts wrapped around the hazzards of the new mind aesthetic. What does beauty mean anymore really and how could it change anything? Is it just a collateral of the everyday being or a fabricated affectation? It all makes me think of my ex and consider her in the same context. She was the cold ice that me and proceeded in devouring me. Her dour and darkness was infinitely appealing and she was aware of this. To her it was just another one of the enjoyably unresolvable enigmas posed by her infinitely superficial character and no matter how layers were taken off there was never any depth to an encounter with her it all just was. She just sort of flowed over you. There was just this cruelty to her words and a disquiet to her gait and nothing softened her effect on people. free Ruth Nevada female webcamShe was involved with a married who you knew/ were friendly with, and you knew his wife kid too (not sure if I'm remembering that all correctly). And I think I remember you sayin that her having this affair with this guy became a bit of a repellant for you, in terms of your finding her attractive. You struck up your friendship/ relationship back in the states, before she moved away. I'm going to go with what I believe was the basic line of argument in my advice to (what I remember as) your original post: A while back, your gut told you something important about this woman and you kept your distance as a result. Now, however, after getting yourself knee-deep in her problems and such (as I it), you now feel a sort of sense of duty to her. But the thing is, your listening to her problems hasn't actually helped her to begin to resolve anything. Meaning, she's still acting out on all the problems she's already told you that she has. And that's because her 'confiding' in you wasn't therapy it wasn't her doing any work on herself what is was, was a process of her telling you who she is. And if you step back from that for a second, from the sentiment that came from those talks, you'll likely that the things she's told you jive with the things you *sensed* about her however so ago (when she was having that affair and you didn't find her attractive). And I'm guessing all this because, here you are, saying you need to break up with her now, and not too after your original post (what's it been, like a month? Maybe a lil more?). So, the way I it: You got sucked in, the same way the other guy(s) have. And I think now, once and for all, you should listen to yor gut and stand down on this one walk away, you don't have a duty here. You have even been/ are being manipulated by her (it's hard to say, though, because I don't know her). speed dating
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