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I wanted to reply to these two posts of yours, but didn't have the energy at the time: If you'd find it useful or relevant, here goes: I have two acquaintances in my past, both whom started out as femmes with core attractions to butches. Both femmes ended up identifying as FtMs, and both chose to transition hormonally (not sure about surgery if any). One finally settled on being a fey with a core attraction to other men, the other I believe is still with his butch partner. Not saying this should be your path. Just that, if applicable, here is breathing room for where you might be with things. horny chat Dorfleinthen it wouldn't be so hard for you to be in his presence for a few days without you feeling like he's "contaminating" your life. Every sentence you've written about him in this thread has been dripping with contempt and revulsion. I didn't say you were wrong for feeling that way about him but I was disputing that you're not still carrying a chip on your shoulder. By your own admission, you still yourself as a "victim" to that monster. The first step towards truly liberating yourself from that mentality is to stop seeing him through the lens of the past. Why get all worked up about him coming for a visit? I agree with Sphynx that it's best he stay at a hotel, but you don't want him there at all. Look, he was a really shitty father and you're probably never going to get an apology or any self-awareness from him. Is he a narcissist? Could be. You're not exactly immune from mental issues either. He'll be dead enough one day but he's also your father. Still means something to him or he wouldn't be wanting to come you. It's not about pretending that past never happened, but making the best of what's there now. Even if it's just for a few days. hang out for romance
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