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The Washington Post annually publishes a contest for readers in which they are asked to supply alternative definitions for various existing words. This year's list is no disappointment. The following were some of the winning entries in this year's contest: 1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon. 2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained. 3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all of ever having a flat stomach. 4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. 5. nilly (adj.), impotent. 6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown. 7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. 8. Gargoyle (n.), an flavored mouthwash. 9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller. 10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline. 11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam. 12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you. 13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish _expressions. 14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts. 15. Pokemon (n.), A Jamaican proctologist. Chunchula Alabama grannies nsaAll the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge. "I should be in charge," said the, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen." "I should be in charge," said the blood, "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away." "I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food and give all of you energy." "I should be in charge," said the legs , "because I the body wherever it needs to go." "I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to where it goes." "I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal." All the other body parts laughed at the rectum And insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss. The Moral of the story? Even though the others do all the work The asshole is always in charge. black horny
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