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nothing constructive or objective to say. As I said in the first place I am looking for constructive thoughts or advice from who are now adult that did live through a vicious divorce. I am trying to make sense of what is happening since I have no experience with being a of divorce. So once again if you don't have anything constructive or helpful to add then just don't respond. don't try to tell people what emotion they should or should not have over the loss of a. I think every emotion is understandable and acceptable. The adult thing to do is to seek counsel from peers and to make sense of the emotion before taking action. This is what I am attempting to do both from friends and family as well as those who maybe do not have any affiliation with either family. My thought is really even seeking some advice and thoughts from those who have been a of divorce. So if none of that makes sense to you then just leave me alone. Your negative advice and thoughts are unhelpful and unwanted. I have received some very helpful and constructive thoughts from a few on this site. Defiantly things to think about before taking any action. So if you are one of those who gave some constructive advice Thank you. However if you are one of those who has only told me I have no right to be angry, hurt, sad, or that I am not her mother .Then step off .I am just as much her mother as I am the mother to the I have adopted. Therefore I be hurt when she lashes out, I be forgiving when she reaches out, and I be protective when I think she is being hurt, and I her as deeply as I do any of the that have wandered into my home and my life, AND NOT YOU OR ANYONE TELL ME I HAVE NO RIGHT that she has a mother . I know who have a birth mother but the title of mother is not given to those who just squeeze a out. Any dumb ass can squeeze a out. Mother is an endearing term that is reserved for those who, nurture and protect the helpless. Durham swing DurhamAll creatures have brains built from a common foundation through evolution. Most creatures have the primitive reptilian part of the that controls bodily functions. All mammals have a limbic system that controls emotions, sense of self and others (ie. that cat in the mirror is not another cat) and dream sleep. Some mammals but especially humans have other highly developed parts of the that control language, concentration and abstract reasoning. No one ever defines humanity in reference to reptilian bodily functions. You sometimes hear humanity defined in reference to civilization, intellect and reason. However that vast majority of time humanity or the soul is defined on the basis of features controlled by the limbic system ( emotions, dreams , sense of self and others, compassion). We tend to define humanity on the basis of these things and a person as being "inhumane" or "inhuman" if they lack those qualities. We'd all think of a firefighter as displaying humanity but there was that famous story about a mother cat who ran in to a burning house to drag out her kittens one by one even though she was being burned. You would think rationally we would define humanity by the mental qualities that are unique to humans or at least great apes. But we actually define humanity in practice by emotional and altruistic qualities that are controlled by a lower part of the we share with other mammals. It's also interesting that the terms "inhuman" and "subhuman" in reference to people have such diametriy opposite meanings and systems of belief them. curvy dating
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