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looking to host first latino woman for the additional background information. You definitely sound like you have a good head on your shoulders, and I can % relate to your sense of not being able to enjoy life "as it happens." But the thing is, your education is a part of life, too. Is your bf planning to move/ transfer if grad school takes you out of the LA area? And have you thought about whether or not you really want him to do this? The worry you have about him cheating, and the questions/ concerns that were raised for you following the threesome, is the thing that has me asking all these questions. If he moves, is it to help dispell your fears of his cheating? I'm not sure that's the best reason for you guys to up and leave town together. And youth is a commodity in LA, but LA isn't all of CA and he won't have that asset going for him forever. I'm just saying that, if you guys stay together (with your life moving ahead along a defined track and his.. well..) it be for the right reasons? it be for -/ best friendship, or it be for the sake of crutching/ assuaging insecurities? After all, if you go off to grad school and he doesn't move, you worry? You're not going to have a realistic amount of space for that sort of drama when you're in a grad program. It'll take away from your work. You're going to need to make the highest gpa possible. Just some things to think about. Sorry for riding the higher ed. thing so hard. I've just been through the system and know how much it can take of a person, how much it can seriously impact "life" as it happens. I've no doubt, with the maturity you seem to have, that you can get thru it but it is a terribly important step to take (depending on your field, of course) and it is process that allows minimal baggage/ distractions of its participants. fucking sex on Martinique
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