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Culhane: Every reader needs Savage’s ‘Mother and Father’ posts to stop Culhane By Culhane, Professor of Law, Widener University 7:50am EDT This isn’t helping. That’s what I think each time I that Savage has posted another in his “Every Needs a Mother and a Father” series. For those not familiar with these tired posts (by now legion in size, if depressingly familiar in subject), all that’s needed is a one-sentence explanation: Each post showcases heterosexual parents either or neglecting their, often dramatiy. The pieces amount to little more than a sort of emotional pornography, perhaps satisfying some primal urge to read about the horrible depths to which human beings can sink. (I’ll not link to them here, mostly out of principle.) But what is Savage trying to say in this series? That some of the mothers and fathers out there are capable of doing terrible things to their? Everyone knows that. Sadly, everyone also knows that some same-sex parents have done equally terrible things. And these are exactly the sorts of examples we might expect the most ignorant of our right-wing opponents to use against us. Stooping to their level, while it gratify some visceral urge for revenge, is hardly contributing to the real debates and issues that surround the fight for equality and dignity for all families. And we (or anyway, we need to -) that most parents – whether single, or partnered with either a same- or opposite-sex person – are doing the best they can, given their circumstances. Every deserves good parents, we might better say. Demonizing the majority to make a point about the ignorance of our worst-intentioned opponents is just irresponsible, especially for someone with as broad an audience as Savage enjoys (mostly deservedly). CONTINUES . fuck girl Gold coast-tweed freeThere was a fairly large break within the feminist movement several years ago (beginning in the late 70s, picking up steam in the 80's, exploding briefly in the 90's, and then quietly vanishing, at least as far as the mainstream was concerned) that was over exactly what you are discussing. A lot of artistic and scholarly work was done by queer women of color at that time, not so much as part of the feminist movement, but precisely intending to say that they were not part of it, and to ask why. People like Anzaldúa, Cisneros, Lord. There are any number of complex theories as to why this happens. Power. Bias. Racism or privilege amongst white feminists. Without disagreeing with any of those I think there's a little something to all of them I think a more fundamental issue that tends to affect almost any crusading cause is that they struggle very deeply with being able to recognize people as individuals. Often by definition, they are fighting for "women" or "the poor" (generic) and have blind spots when it comes to what those individual poor people or women or queers or whatever actually look like, and what their different needs and cultures are like. More dangerously, they tend to any sort of difference as fracturing "the cause," and so they are more than willing to throw individuals under the bus if they do not conform lock step to the vision of what "woman" is. Ultimately, "the cause" becomes more important and than the people within it. Women become more important than woman. This is a danger of fighting for ideas and not for people, and it is certainly not limited to white ladies. I do not think it is unavoidable, but it is often the likely outcome. IMHO, the only way to avoid it is to learn how to be willing to compromise and to learn to accept that real life requires some levels of injustice. Human life CANNOT be perfect. This is a cold position to take and so refuse to take it, but the result is that they become willing to fight the slightest injustice with disproportionate violence. Personally, I would rather be realistic and a little cold than naive and deadly. divorced dating
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