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any such thing? he's been here for years, swears he's not culturally naive, never had a "misunderstanding" before. of course, i don't think he ever tried to settle down before either. we knew each other a couple of years, became good friends, grew to respect each other intellectually and spiritually. he finally made his move. (we're in the same work-related community). we were ecstatic for a while. he made a point of telling me he's not promiscuous, hasn't been with a lot of women, was not going to be with anyone, etc. i waited and checked it and made him try a couple more times, all the while letting him know i was interested, because i wanted to be SURE he was. HE WAS. after a couple of months, he started breaking our communication. i pinned him down, told him i wasn't a fool or a whore, he swore he didn't feel that way but gave me no other response. i have a female friend from African and she watched him and listened to me. She didn't like him personally, but she advised me to be patient with him. i was extremely patient in ways. he made a point of telling me he appreciated it too. but he left me anyway. and i found out because he had his new girfriend drive him and me IN THE BACK SEAT OF HER CAR from one party to another, where i learned, in a conversation with her, that they were dating. i was furious. a week later he blocked my way when i tried to leave an event and asked me, "why aren't you being nice to me?" i was incredulous! "nice? this isn't nice for me!" we talked for a minute and he saod, "ok, you get your temper down." (very African!) that night i ed him, in tears. somewhere in there, i knew he wanted me. i said, "i can't be friends with you, under these circumstances. don't you understand?!" and then I asked, "is there something you want to say to me?" he answered, "No. Not every can say what is on his mind." He promised to talk with me the next day, but I never heard from him. - next post cougars girls Fairbanks Alaska
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