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I don't have, but I was fortunate enough to have a truly wonderful step parent. He hasn't been married to my mother in 15 years, but I'm still close with him and he means the world to me. So don't have very much in their life, and here you are, not even her flesh and blood and you seem to have shooting out your fingertips. There is NOTHING that mean more to her than that. I use to work with and teen girls. They are 'challenging' shall we say. But all they really wanted was to FEEL wanted. And teens are rather ridiculously good at reading people. This isn't something you can fake. They know. Make sure she has her own space, lots of hugs and 'we're so happy you are here', and if you have any pictures of her, put them up. I bet she'd be thrill you never stoped thinking of her as part of the family. Not sure if this is an option, but one thing my step dad always did when I was a teen and he was working part time he'd make me a snack after school and sit with me at the table while I ate it. Every day. And we'd TALK. Not 'is your homework done' kind of talk, but really talk about my goals, about life, about history and politics and and, and even about my friends and boys. I know my bio-parents me, but I can't tell you what it meant that this adult seemed to really care and be interested in what I thought even though he didn't 'have to'. sexy big booty woman walking her dawgIn my state, the court could order that he enter the "seek work" program if they judge him as under-employed (willfully or not.) In his case, it might not make any difference, but for those dads who are working under the table and under-reporting their income, having to report in to probation every week with evidence of applications made is enough of a hassle that can magiy change. One of my favorite fallacies on this forum is the idea that more money doesn't help. Grrrrreat, so someone down below can feed himself and on a eighty and a half a stick of juicyfruit. And, yeah, it is just oh so empowering to not rely on any, yada yada. And, sure, if you're broke, it's only because you overspend on material goods. Bite me. Your shouldn't have to eat gruel and forgo fresh fruits and vegetables, skip team sports, music lessons, class trips, or even some single stupid trendy toy or piece of clothing because your stbx is a financial basement dweller. And even if all those things are covered, their lives can still be improved with greater financial freedom. No way does $$$ make up for competent, committed, conscious parenting, but it can go a hell of a way towards supporting a parent in being the best parent s/he can be by freeing them from stress and worry by whatever increments. adult personals
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