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Cromberg California guy here wanting to give a massage is to use distraction. Right now, your thoughts are focused on him too much of the time. So you have to give yourself other things to think about. You have to get out of your comfort zone get damn busy with every spare minute in your day, and stay so damn busy that when you hit the sack at night, you fall asleep from exhaustion. (Better than laying there, thinking of him last thing, and crying yourself to sleep, eh?) Remodel the house, join a gym and workout every day, get a second job, go back to school, join a cause which needs volunteers, anything which get you out of the house and keep your mind, hands and body BUSY. Channel that energy you're using feeling sorry for yourself in a different direction. Especially consider doing volunteer work that helps others in need maybe Meals on Wheels, cooking at a homeless shelter, Red Cross relief projects, working at an animal shelter, etc. You'll generate some oxytocin (the feel-good hormone) naturally, and that boost your spirits. Pay attention to your body. Eat foods and stay away from fatty sweets the sugar highs and lows make you depressed. Same goes for caffeine. Get plenty of sleep. Next, write yourself a journal. Write down ALL the reasons this relationship with him is a BAD thing, and be very specific about your feelings. Go back and read it every time you're feeling weak and vulnerable. It strengthen your resolve. And try to be sociable with others, even if you don't feel like it. Those times you're wallowing in self-pity and don't want to be around others are *exactly* the times you NEED to be with others. Spend lots of time with friends and family, and cultivate friendships, hobbies. And do pamper yourself. Do your favorite things often; they do have a way of lifting depression. Lastly Get a bit more educated about typical teen behavior, especially girls, living with divorced parents one of whom alcohol. The behavior you described doesn't sound abnormal at all. She sounds like a typical 14yo who's dealing with a whole lot of conflicting emotions and anger at the world. normal, really. In any case, it's not your place to rescue this girl at the expense of your own sanity or pocketbook. You did the right thing. Good luck. no nonsense i need a place to stay
I am saying one can have boundaries without ultimatums and severing contact. I suspect the dynamics of the situation you describe are quite different. It wasn't two proud males in a stand-off. I don't know how your client related to her daughter. What I know is a power struggle isn't the place to start. On any issue, one can err in either direction. Doormats have to solve people problems by becoming more firm; hotheads are, IMO, better advised to become more patient and flexible. Little egos need to focus on their own needs; big egos need to get their ego out of the way. I suspect your client has a history of being TOO forgiving. In this case, I don't how dad acting like god's gift to the helps a not act like god's gift to his girlfriend. Nor do I benefit in depriving an at risk grandchild of a presumably loving grandfather. i want to shove it where your mouth fits
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