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I also did not open the e-mail replies I had received because first of all I didnt recognize anyone they were From, but more importantly because there was nothing about what I wrote that was open for discussion. I dont know why now anyone would reply to this but if so I will not be opening any replies.
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i know it s crazy but i want to cuddle After I loaded my burden here, I actually felt better because for the first time in my life I realized one of my flaws. Nobody knows I can be sad. And now knowing others really care. Because of my personality, the mask that I built, no one expects me to be sad or feel down but expects me to be strong, excited, animated and the life of the party! I am afraid, now, all of sudden, to say to people, I am sad or feeling down. It would be much easier to say or show this to one person that I could "trust" which I do not have now. If I say I am sad to my family, they not understand because they usually think I am angry which is most likely my mask for my sadness. If I say I am sad to my friends, they not really understand too because they never saw me sad they think I am not being serious. The short therapy I had in in the past, none of them ed on my mask. They actually reinforced my external self I am laughing, smiling, that I am happy but just feeling lonely One of the reasons, I got the dog was to treat some of my existential problems. I was told I was not sad but bored and had no responsibilities. When people say deal with issues, I have hard time understanding that. I think my issue is when I am sad I do not share it with people. It stem from lack of trust or being afraid of being accepted. I think no one would want a sad person so I share my happy side and then I forgot my sad side. I am more sad alone than when I am dating. If I go lower than the trust and not being accepted issue, I hit a block. Not sure what to do beyond that. Why don't I trust people or afraid to be accepted? Interestingly enough, I make friends fast and deep and trust them. Deep enough to share everything. I listened to people's sad stories. People sharing their sad stories with me. and I listening and helping others with understanding where their pain is coming from. Sidney al cougars seeking men
free adult dating Austria ads actually, I am a LOT of a seeker and I find myself on a spritual quest. I have studied lots of different religions, tried some on . left most, am finding my own way, my own path to enlightenment. Currently, I am reading Neale Walsch's books and finding them extremely interesting. He shares a view that all our emotions stem from really only two places . fear and. That really hit home with me today, as I can sense someone I care about starting to get involved in a romance (we don't talk or as much, just short clips here and there and much less personal, basiy one liners). My initial reaction was just to cut the cord, be done, go on . I thought of it as simply my loner side, don't need anybody take care of yourself, etc. Actually that is a place of fear.. fear she won't want or need my friendship any longer when I should be coming from a place of . being happy and excited for her, continueing to give and be open. I am a way from enlightment, but I am looking and I have less and less fear in my life. Explore your world. married women wanting Les Mazeires
kitchen that I don't even use. I don't believe that wanting a couch in my living room for me to sit on and pathway thru it where I won't fall and hurt myself is OCD, I'm trying to prevent hurting myself and then having to maneuver thru the mess. You'll when I post my picture and then you understand that I am not exaggerating. There is one seat and my SO has it totally for himself with papers; magazines; computer; cords; you name it and and open space for their ass to sit on. There is a mattress in the middle of the floor and boxes from stem to stern it. You'll, I am not OCD, just buried alive in boxes that I cannot lift. Maybe I hire someone, that's an idea, to move them somewhere, now there is an idea! Thanks, without you, I wouldn't have come up with that idea. I'll do it when they are gone! Thanks! share some adult fucking with me
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