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no, you've misunderstood or i misspoke he suggested the dinner, when the check came i said sweetly are you treating, since were celebrating my last day of class? he said: "No", melted down and dumped me as as we were no longer in public. so, it was not that i offered to pay. it was that my suggestion that HE might pay, made him feel like i was telling him he wasn't doing right by me, like i was complaining about his effort and pressuring him to do something he didn't feel like doing. so then i got the (upteenth) boot, promptly. well played re: "manly" yes, he gets brutish and goes into the cave, i couldn't have put it better myself. a full rmation of facial features and tone of voice and something like: "I'm DONE with this conversation!" which makes me feel about..2 years old. ive been only with him for almost years so its hard to remember any other kind of, i was just at dinner a large group of friends who ALL said they had seen their men cry. i was shocked. this guy has never shed a single tear in front of me. in all these years. i, on the other hand am emotional which he had said he "loves" about me. however, in the heat of the moment, i think it makes him uncomfortable. like he has to "fix it" (my tears) and he panics. last there was a moment where he lost his composure and snapped "Stop crying!" for some reason that memory ranks high on the bad ones. im making him sound like an abusive father i think another issue is, i dont open up to people much, so its not often that i get an outside perspective on things i tend to deal with privately.. i appreciate everyone who has given me feedback. its a real relief to hear some opinions and not just the same confused voices in my head. real male for real woman fwbHave you told him how you're feeling? A couple thoughts I had to your post 1. You don't have to do everything together. If you want to go out on the weekends and hike, then go! Join a meetup group and then you can make friends with other people who enjoy that. 2. His lack of interest in sex is concerning. Has he been evaluated mediy? Does he like it differently than you like it? Were the first 3 years of your relationship good sexually? 3. You have been with this guy since you were 22. For a lot of people that means they have next to zero experience with dating and relationships so your restlessness is understandable. However, just because you are restless doesn't mean you need to throw the out with the bathwater. Go get new hobbies, make new friends, take a vacation there are lots of ways to spice up your life without ditching your relationship. Overall however, he has to be willing to work with you on bringing your relationship back. It sounds like it's time for a conversation where you each talk about how you feel about each other and your relationship and determine where you want to go. If you are stumped about how to begin that you could try something like "I you and I value our relationship, but lately I feel like we haven't been connecting. I would like to spend some quality time doing blah blah on such-and-such day. What would you like to do?" That should at least get the conversation going married looking for sex
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