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How not to be eaten by a Duck Avoid smearing yourself in stale breadcrumbs unless absolutely necessary. If threatened by a duck, climb a tree. Ducks, usually excellent climbers, refuse to share trees with anything. a large automatic weapon with you whenever walking past a river or pond. Become a microbiologist and develop a duck form of myxomatosis. Become an electronics whizz and build a battery-powered thingy that repels ducks by means of ultrasound. Become a physicist and repel ducks. And everything. a tin whistle in your shirt pocket or handbag and practise duck-charming techniques to buy time to escape, should you be threatened. Move to Siberia. As far as I know, no ducks live near there. If you can't beat them, join them: Whilst ducks be vicious, they are civilised creatures and the idea of cannibalism disgusts them. Rather than just getting another pullover from your granny next Christmas, ask her for a duck costume instead. Do everything in your car. Eat in it, sleep in it, perhaps even travel in it. Never leave your car. Remember to check it for ducks first. Go on a safari holiday to Africa, go to the lions and jump out of the Land Rover into the middle of a hungry pride. I'd like to a duck try to reach you then. Contract Anorexia Nervosa and wear tight clothing to make sure the ducks realise they'd be wasting their time eating you. Sneak onto the set of a film about the middle ages and steal some chain mail. Ask God to reconsider whether they were worth putting on the planet in the first place. Be polite. Make friends with lots of plump, tasty-looking people. about with them all the time, after making sure you can run faster than all of them. Do not mistake ducks for geese. Geese allow themselves to be petted and stroked and even hand-fed whilst ducks take your arm off at the first available opportunity. women in Gastonia wanting sexI need advice. We have been married for just over a year. Been together for 4 and known each other for 9. She had these feeligs for this person during her last marriage. We both came from a nasty divorce and helpped each other through that. However this person came back into her life several months ago and I did not find out until about 3 months ago. During that time her feelings came back and now she wants an open relationship. She has gone as far as to post and reply to adds on to find me another woman to keep me occupied while she explores these feelings to if they are just infatuation ore the real deal. Honestly I have read a few things that tell me she would leave and move in with him if it were possible but due to financial reasons as well as custody of both her and my due to our ex situation prevents either of us from walking away. Her friends, and family are upset for her doing this. I am not sure what to do about any of it. As it is I feel like more of a ghost than I am in a relationship becasue we are not talking much and when the are not here she is with him. When she is here she is on the phone, online, or texting him most of the day. I have tried looking for someone to keep me occupied as she has asked but feel wrong about doing it and of course all I have received are spam website offers anyway. I have been told by several people in chat rooms that an open relationship only works for the woman involved. All of my friends have moved ar dropped off of the face of the earth so I do not even have the ability to talk with anyone for advice so now I am turning here. Can anyone provide me some guidance or wisdom as to how to navigate through this hell that I am in. I still my wife and she sees this relationship as a new feeling that has passed on after a while but feel she not get to that point until she has lived with him for 4 years. She looks at him like she used to look at me. Advise is welcome. Thank you all for taking the time to read my ramblings. seeking my soulmate
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