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Hi again all, So much has happened since my last post and all for the good. But now I am here on advice for making a smooth transition to the next step. We are spending much more time together both alone and as a family (his mine) and although he and I are ready to make the "move in together move" it is probably just not best yet for the involved. Ok for my daughter who is going into the 8th grade. We have listened to her concerns and wants and we have agreed to wait until next (YIKES almost a whole year) to actually officially make the move. The time probably go quickly anyway as I we both have places (him house, me condo) to prepare. My questions: Ideas on getting everybody (him, me, -) use to the idea of "us as a whole" vs. the ME syndrome that we all seem to share. We all agree this is what we want, but we have also been independant for 7 years now. By the time we actually offiy make the move, I would it if everyone referred to "things" (the house, cars, furniture) as ours instead of mine, his, and hers. Also, if all others feelings were involved in decision making and plans. He and I are already very much working on this one. We sat down with each other's finance over the weekend and make term plans. He and I also discussed what needed to be done to each house and how we were going to get those things done. However, it bothers me very much (even though this is new) when SO refers to "my house" or "my car" or "my -" vs. "our house/car/-" When I bring this up, he graciously admits to understanding and trys harder, but what a ideas on how to ease him and especially our into the "Our/Us" stage instead of the "Me/Mine" stage. Those who know me, this is not a stressor, I am not worried, I have plenty of time to work through all of this. I am just looking for ideas on how to make the transition easier for all involved. I am confident that in the run, things work out beautifully. Just looking for suggestions or ideas to make the transition smoother!! Thanks! man woman Byrrill Creek
i was at a book store today, just putzing around, and i happened to notice the "- and lesbian literature" section. it was located on a shelf-island, of sorts, all alone in the middle of an open area. upon closer inspection i noticed that this poor, ostracized, collection of literature consisted of one shelf labeled, "- male literature," and below that two shelves labeled, "erotica." being a thinker and not always an actor, i left quite upset and wondering if i should have voiced my concerns to someone at the store. first, i don't think and lesbian literature necessarily warrants its own section. especially if it's fiction? maybe and lesbian studies second, considering that a large part of the population might not be apt or able to discriminate between truth and fiction, stereotypes and reality, etc., GAH! why would a bookstore fuel that idiocy? if i had, i would steer them away from erotica in the bookstore- what message does that send about people that the two things are grouped together. i'm upset that even as an optimist, i find it hard to believe that the placement of this shelf was an oversight. and where the hell are the lesbian books? Candelo female for black mixed manUnless you don't want to go for it. However, if you do, she has given you the green light. It sounds like she be happy to lead you there. It's tough when you freeze and don't know what to do. Just letting her know that you are happy to her be enough fuel for the fire. Let her take your hand and lead you. (Again, unless you don't want to and that's ok too) Hugs latin woman
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