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Anything you possibly ever could need from me I had the strenght of character to give you that.
Afraid of "shadows" (whatever fears that might mean!) yours and others' as sad as it is, I know it's true. Nothing I could ever do to change that.
And recognizing you never really tried priceless. With this all said, nothing else never ever needs to be said by you anymore.
Thank you for sincerity, if for nothing else.
It's just so sad that it took you so long to see these truths within yourself; and even sadder all this pain you caused on the process..to those for whom it mattered.
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The cure is the internal realization that dad is flawed, the family was hurt by her mother's death, and adults CAN get the and support they need elsewhere. What's hurting her is the belief that dad has some magic elixir that he could provide if he wanted to. He doesn't have it. And his perceived lack of isn't a choice: it's a flaw, a deficiency, baggage, a wound inside him. Whether she interacts with him or not, SHE has to stop longing for something that isn't there. SHE has to let go of the idea that ONLY dad has the magical goodies. Not seeing him won't stop the longing or the fantasy that dad is the only one who can heal her pain. What stop it is accepting reality: Dad's a mere mortal, who's flawed and confused and handled a difficult situation poorly; and adults CAN cultivate loving and supportive relationships that are every bit as healing and typiy MORE healing than a close relationship with a parent. At some point, we all have to give up the fantasy that life would be a bowl of cherries if mom and dad had been perfect. sweet lady at the Emeigh Pennsylvania libary
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