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I agree that money is a frustrating issue. I am a saver and my husband is a spender. I save about of my income. Husband goes out to breakfast and lunch every day, has expensive hobbies, etc. He drives a newer car, mine is 20 years old. One thing, is that if you make substantially more than him, even if you save a proportionate amount (which is not a bad idea), you are going to have more spending money. One thing that might help is if you BOTH agree on how much spending money you would get during the month, and get the same amount, not a proportion. You also have more debt, which should be a priority to pay down. Realistiy if you end up getting married, your incomes would be combined, so it would not matter who made more, you would get the same amount of spending money. Do you think that is something he would be willing to try? Money is a tricky subject. Men don't tend to like to give up control to women in the first place, especially with money. Maybe you could try asking HIM to make a specific financial plan of what you two need to do? Clearly you've figured it out. If he sits down with a pen and paper and calculates, "If we want to buy a house that costs $ K, we need to have ." That might get him more engaged? friend finder Prestonsburg
Hire a good housekeeper to keep the place clean, orderly, cook a good meal for evening, do the gro shopping, mow the yard, 8 hours a day, Mon Fri, $2, a month. In order to pay that $2, a month, cut off the TV cable, cut allowances to zero, no vacations, no new clothes, no cell phones, maybe no home phone, maybe no car, no lunch money, no in short, make a budget: 1) rent or mortgage 2) utility bills 3) housekeeper 4) groceries 5) car expenses if you can afford to keep the car. 6) medical 7) equally divide the remaining, if any. Then get everyone together (including yourself) and say, "We can do without almost all the things you have come to take for granted, in order to pay for the things we don't do. Or, we can figure out divisions of labor and accountability and slowly take back over what the housekeeper does. Which is it gonna be?" Hard action for hard problems. Sounds like you live in a pig pen, and are raising more pigs. Either do without cell phones, TV, new clothes, supplies, boy scouts, a car, vacation, etc or learn the hard way to take care of what you have. How does the saying go? Ya don't shit where you eat. Make a 2'x4' sign on the living room wall saying just that. 26 country boy stopping at hotelPeace to all! I try to be short. 3 months in bed has led to a great deal of mood issues. (1 m home, 2 months hosp/or rehab, and now I expect the next 3-6 months still at home w/rehab. I now have a titanium for a femur: knee to hip, rather painful (Dec 27). I must use a and cannot drive eventhough it is my left leg. Obv my old cancer have been tossed. I now have 2 shots a month. One to destroy and remaining beastly cells, and the other to encourage bone growth. Lots of calcium too! I already had radiation (12) and again was burnt on both sides, somewhat resembling a cigar burn! One area on the left cheek and the other directly thru to the other side! Imagine what sitting is like! But viscious tumors were shrunk. My gf has again been my savior, when I was in the hosp or rehab she had 12 hrs work days and still saw me at the start and end of each day! And 12+ hrs on her 2 days off. I am truly blessed with her kindness. Sorry to admit I am easily depressed or moody or plain old grouchy. I try to blame it on my level 9 pain, or spasms or my whacked thyroid but need to admit that it is simply the fear of the unknown. ENOUGH on that subject. thanks to those that sent me and or cards. I read my cards every day at least once, they are very healing. Another time I tell of my new "add to the bucket". not a bucket list by far! So ya'll again I say: give a hug and a kiss, say I you, show how much, be kind, and as said do unto others . Peace and CANCER SUCKS beautiful blonde ladies
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