Have you ever? Have you ever felt that you were at a place in your life where you wanted two things at the same time? .where you wanted, one, to be in a loving and committed and romantic relationship, that relationship that makes you want to skip and sing right down the street, that relationship where you say..Yes! .I've finally found that person who understands me and values me and I him and I can really settle down with this person for the long term future and I'm so excited and so relieved that I finally found this wonderful person to share my life with and two, as you're searching for this person that you want to find, that you have a right to find because you're worthy of that person, that you ALSO desire ..AT THE SAME TIME that you are searching for this person .a sexual desire that goes something like this .
"I'm at such and such and age now, and I'm searching for a great love of my life, and its taking time, maybe sadly even a lifetime to find that person, and WHILE I'm searching for that person, the days on my search are turning into weeks and the weeks into months and the months into years .and you know time is just moving on by and I'm realizing .how MUCH! I want to be sexual in a truly exuberant and passionate and joyous way?"
You see, I think we CAN have those two feelings at the same time and frankly I have a problem with anyone who would say that there was some great moral problem with feeling this way, which is why I get impatient and irritated with anyone who would turn up their nose to anyone whose heart was in the right place in desiring both of these things at the same time. I think ones heart CAN be in the right place in desiring both of these things at the same time and that, if one is a good person, and if ones heart was in the right place, they shouldn't feel ashamed or embarrassed or immoral or 'seedy' in having both of these feelings and desires simultaneously.
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DOCTOR PLEASE m4w You've changed to a a new doctor and are seeing me for the first time. I'm a good looking man in my late twenties, dressed professionally in a shirt and tie.
The visit starts out very normal. I ask you the usual questions about your medical history.. your last menstrual period, are you sexually active? What type of birth control do you use? Then questions that are even more personal, but maybe still appropriate to a doctors visit, then.. an occasional question that is borderline inappropriate: "Do you masturbate often?", "Do you find that you're able to orgasm during sex?", "During intercourse, or through oral sex?".. Then I back off a little as I see you're a bit uncomfortable.. But always two steps forward, and one step back.
Soon I have you undress and we move on to your physical exam.. and again I become inappropriate. Maybe sneaking a peak over my shoulder as you change into your gown behind me while I'm reviewing your chart. My face is a little too close to yours as I listen to your lungs with my stethoscope.. your jaw drops open as you're shocked to notice: "is that.. a bulge in his pants?". Then we move on to your breast exam. The way I look at you isn't quite right, like a lion looking at it's prey, as I slowly press and massage, getting a nice feel of your tits.. "did he just do what I think he did?".
You're feeling violated, but it's happening so fast and you're still uncertain if you're just imagining things. You don't want to create an awkward moment by saying something. What if you're wrong, how embarrassing that would be.. "No, I need to stop this somehow.. I need to say something.." But before you can make a decision on how to handle it, I lie you back for your pelvic exam..
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It fails to note that there are different agreements as to what a person's "needs" are. So saying "it puts the needs of a client above the needs of a counselor" is meaningless, at least in the context of this particular case. Does think the client's needs are to live a fulfilling, happy life, and that that is dependent on being straight? Does she think the client's needs are to find a person who can help them grapple with their concerns in a meaningful way? Are their "needs" just to have someone sit there and shake their head yes even if their professional opinion is that the person is self-destructive? Are their needs whatever the person says they are? I'm sorry, I simply don't believe that one-size-fits all is a workable approach to human relations. One-size-fits-all is the nature of inappropriate discrimination. So to apply that same mentality to counseling to say that the exact counseling that one person gets is interchangeable with the counseling and counselor that work for another while at the same time saying that counseling cannot discriminate, is incoherent. Illegal discrimination is applying an inappropriate blanket statement or assumption to an individual to whom it does not belong in lieu of considering the particular nature of that person, situation, context, or case. It is NOT "discriminating" in the sense of recognizing that real differences exist between individual people and that we are not all interchangeable like fucking car tires. Props to this woman for recognizing that she cannot be a counselor in this situation and holding herself to a professional standard of helping people, instead of lying and giving subpar or damaging advice because her McMasters program is churning out indistinguishable, useless counselors who misunderstand the nature of the human beings and think we ought to all be identical robots. No wonder they do such big business. I'd go to therapy every day if I bought this line of bullshit that I was supposed to be like everyone, too. Nobody can live someone -'s life. That our society insists we ought to be alike is exactly why so people are suffocating under the weight of impossible expectations and being made sick over it. any reston women around
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