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We are exploring our options. I don't believe that she wants to screw me. I believe she wants to be as amicable as possible. We have no assets anymore. There's some stuff we own that I suppose it worth some. Our savings are gone. Hard times and she likes to spend. She makes more than me, but also lives well beyond her means. Lots of debt. We rent. I know I got to be a. I am doing my best to finally grow up. Stopped drinking two years ago. She drinks wine nightly. Not shitfaced, but she has a couple of glasses. When I was drinking too much, I used to beg her for support and help. She never would. I would ask, just temporarily, if she would stop drinking with me. Back then, I was drinking vodka like nobody. So much that I seriously could have died. Quite seriously. She wouldn't help. It's like reaching out my hand from the edge of a, and she walked away. I think about stuff like that and I realize: she never loved me. She didn't care if I died. So, in ways this has become clearer to me now. I am two years sober. I never got in any trouble or hurt myself or anyone, thank God. I just decided that I had to do it myself, for myself, and one day I simply stopped. I couldn't rely on her or depend on her for anything. Like I mentioned, her spending was also out of control and selfish. She ran up thousands on store card and I just found out about recently. I am aware now. I wish the new guy best of luck. It still sucks, though. Real bad. Part of me is sad that I wasted over 20 years. That sucks. asian guy for curious open minded black woman
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