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I make no excuse for spnynx's gender bias, as I've yet to any indication of it. Beware that eye roll, didn't your mother ever warn you they might get stuck that way? @@ So, forgiving her means giving her a free pass? She cheated must be taught a lesson? If he doesn't divorce her, she'll never learn? So, it's a public service? Well, anyone issuing a hard spanking should make damned sure their own hands are clean. He continually overrode her pleas for his time, giving himself a free pass to be for 1 year, starting 2 months after marriage, after 4 years of co-mingling families. Break that down by weeks, days, minutes/seconds; I'll leave the dramatics to a courtroom, or someone who loves math/has a calculator. Sphynx argued that his actions were tantamount to a bait switch. His DW repeatedly articulated her objections; he overrode her. It's as if changing her status from SO to spouse actually devalued her standing in his eyes. In frustration, she turned elsewhere, which was % wrong. But to be fair, he played a part in the harsh, but not unpredictable blow back. He didn't cause it, but he was a factor, and he owns this, as she owns her shit, which is a good start. He thought he had her tied down. She wasn't going anywhere. He could throw it in her face (and probably did) that he supported her in her dream, so she owed him. I say, that's apples oranges. Hers required far less time, she probably tended to the while doing it. It's hardly the same thing. Their top priority is to tend to the relationship, like 2 birds nurturing defending their nest, especially when little ones are nestled within. Marriage is no free pass. If anything, the stakes are even higher. Have they reached a point of no return? The OP's is that they can save this. You say they not only can't, but shouldn't. NOW who's showing a bias? I'm with the OP in hoping they can. Counselors follow THE CLIENT'S lead, not their own personal feelings/biases. Ignoring your SO. Bad. Ignoring your spouse. Worse. A wo/- is like a garden. Tend to it, it'll be more than happy to feed you. Ignore it, it'll get away from you. naughty student needs to be punished
"like this woman and plan to share with her the that I feel she's earned" Then why are you courting her with one eye focused backward on the ex. The who tries to have both ends up with neither. Reading your story I keep thinking about Lot's wife (- 19:26) 20 aos quiero cogersit them both down. Look them both in the eye and tell them you them both, but you don't want to be put in the middle of it anymore. Try not to point fingers, but tell them both what you've observed, how it makes you feel, and ask them to talk and work it out. Walk away let them hash it out. And pray they don't get into a big fight. :) Good luck I can only imagine how hard that must be and I commend you for taking your folks in that's something that a lot of people wouldn't do. Seriously, I'm not sure if the advice above would work or not, but it's probably what I would do if I was at a point where I couldn't take it anymore. keep my fingers crossed for you. gothic dating
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