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seem a bit too rigid I mean, they seem to be like orders given, and not a give-and-take agreement between partners. You have been raised to expect certain behavior from others, like being on time, etc. but why is YOUR way the only right way? Others were raised differently. Frankly, you sound controlling. I'd that set of rules, too. It reminds me of the mindset of of those from Native American ancestry, and several other cultures, where the passage of time is seen as an endless cycle with no definite beginning or ending. Tell a Native American to meet at a certain time, and they show up an hour or two early or late. To *them*, they are on time because "6:00 in the morning" means "sometime around sunrise". Is it wrong? Of course not. It's just not YOU. Trust always goes both ways, and goes with respect. If I know it's important to my spouse for me to be on time, then I'll try to meet that expectation. In return, he tries to be more understanding of my need to fudge the time. It really just comes down to picking your battles which ones are worth the argument (being on time for work) versus which ones can be let go (having dinner ready on time). For the most part, if I'm timely on MOST matters, then it's easier to trust my judgement when I need to be late. As for your last part, I fully agree with it. However, there has to be some compromise and understanding of your partner's mindset, too. Like sphynx said above, if a lower-priority person is having a temporary need for my attention, I'll expect my family and husband to understand the change of focus for a little while. As as the general welfare of my (1) husband and and (2) home and finances are not THREATENED by my hiatus, then they should understand. In other words, I'm not going to apologize for not cooking your dinner one night while I'm sitting by a grieving friend's bedside. And if you complain about THAT, you'll be history. granny chat Chahmotiwala
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