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being supportive, dufus. You assumed that since she said there was nothing you could do for her, then you should leave her to deal with this by herself. Women don't usually think that way. MEN do, but not women. Instead, women usually gravitate *towards* each other (or to understanding SOs) for emotional support; not close themselves off to be alone. Rule #1: DO NOT attempt to tell her what she should do to feel better. You're not Mr. Fixit; she doesn't want you to find solutions for her problems. She wants you to hold her hand, listen to her woes, let her cry on your shoulder, and hold her close. That's all. Rule #2: DO NOT blow off her emotions as unimportant, unrealistic, or counter-productive. Just let her vent, cry, complain, or bitch; while you stay out of the line of fire. Once she's vented, she'll calm down and feel better. Rule #3: Understand that "no, there's nothing you can do for me" means this: no, you're not a doctor and you can't fix this cancer for me. But I'm, and I don't want you to know how I am; so I'm going to tell you that you can't help, while at the same time I *expect* and *need* you to stand ready to catch me when it becomes too much to handle by myself. So yes, there's nothing you can do FOR me. But there's a whole lot you can do to make me feel better while I go through this by myself. Make sense? Send her flowers, make homemade goofy cards to tell her you're thinking of her, fix her favorite dinner, distract her with and other activities, buy her a bear, mow her lawn or rotate her tires for her, or text her for no reason other than to say I you or hear her voice, ask how she's feeling today, stuff like that. asian seeking Hartford maleBy Boorstein / Updated: Saturday, November 19, 2:10 PM Mass had just begun at Corpus Catholic Church when Zickel, a school teacher, glanced at the church bulletin and saw something that made her sick to her stomach. Tucked in with announcements about a new electronic donation system and a church dinner at Margarita’s Mexican restaurant was news that Zickel, the mother of two girls, had been dreading: Corpus would no longer train girls to be altar servers. Zickel burst into tears and ran to the bathroom. “I knew right then that our family couldn’t stay at this church anymore,” Zickel said, her voice breaking. “I’m a mama bear, and they’re going after my girls.” The decision last fall by Corpus Christi’s pastor, the Rev., and the response of Zickel and about a dozen other families who left the 1, -family South Riding church reflect ongoing tensions among American Catholics over the role of women. About 50 families from across the country wrote letters of protest to the Arlington Catholic Diocese, and a vigil is scheduled for outside the diocese’s offices. The subject has played out unusually in the diocese, which was the next-to-last in the country to say, in , that girls were eligible to help priests at the altar. (The diocese in, Neb., still has a boys-only policy.) Arlington Bishop Loverde left the decision up to individual priests. years later, about 60 percent of the diocese’s 68 parishes across northern and eastern still allow only altar boys, a diocese spokeswoman said. Some share Taylor’s belief that the positions should be reserved for boys, who become priests and help ease a Catholic clergy shortage. Girls who had already trained as altar servers at Corpus were allowed to continue, but they cannot wear the new black, priestlike robes the boys began wearing. People who oppose girl servers the task as priest-like and note that the church teaches priests must be male because they model. horny moms
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