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1. I'm in a pseudo relationship. I'm not sure honestly if there is ever a *one*. I do think there are a series of primary relationships. This is that for me now, and I it continues and grows. She had me the morning after I met her in person the first time. She said something that made me "get" that she was thoughtful and insightful and paid attention. I felt she understood me. 2. I'm not sure it is ever one thing. I like solid, honest, sensitive, smart people who aren't afraid to self examine. 3. I am older. Olderer? Yes. I do think sex is the icing on the cake though. I need a good cake first. Sex is terrific but not having it isn't the end of the world. That being said, I expect to remain active. 4. We stick it out through thick and thin. We communicate, which is huge. It isn't always easy, and sometimes we get stuck a bit, but we are both willing to show up at the proverbial table and put ourselves out there. I prefer having an honest relationship, even though its often hard. Our biggest challenge is the distance and not finding a way to resolve that. What went wrong in prior relationships is the failure to be open and honest, and to hear and be heard.. mostly because it was hard. Campbeltown man wants Campbeltown cockI agree with 'stachemeister in that the forms of objectification that appeal to me are be using as a footstool or end table as my partner decompresses at the end of the day quietly getting him off as he reads the paper or being instructed how to get him off as he cooks. Being a tool to help him shed the vestiges of a day and sink into the a quiet and relaxing night. If he can't sleep, providing the means to tire him out. Basiy being a fucktoy or tool to bring about his pleasure. I also get off hard on being forced to maintain the focus of pleasing him while he is groping and molesting me to assume that he's not touching me to please me but to please himself (and that I MUST NOT get off). To me objectification is the shedding of self to bring about comfort to him. It passes the point of doing it for him because he express pleasure in you it's doing it because it brings about his comfort without him ever feeling he even need acknowledge you. Sometimes I've imagined objectification in the form of being used as a game board or a chess table (with the grid painted on my back) for a gathering of his friends Yeah it is all about being brave for me too, trusting someone to do things with and to me that strike me as exceedingly uncomfortable. And then the occasional 'good girl' for the bravery :). And privately being held in a sort of cherished status by him for being brave and shucking self for overcoming fear. Being ed names like 'little fuckpuppet' and 'fucktoy' and being meticulously instructed on how to please him is objectification to me too. adult granny
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