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Get into counseling, STAT, set your hormones (her-moans) aside, and put on your thinking cap. don't bite so hard at Unselfemployed. She's right. You're in a situation of your own making, and only you can fix it. We can all say, "Oh, poor. What a mean he is, you poor little lamb." But what good does that do? As someone pointed out, you can't change what you don't acknowledge. To own your mistakes is to learn from them. You need to buckle up and be strong now. Other lives depend on the decisions you make. My impulse is to suggest adoption, as you've already got your hands full. You think I'm heartless, but actually, I'm all heart (well, alright, I am a woman of heart AND mind). My heart goes out to you, but even more to your, and to your unborn. I am contemplating what is in their best interests. And a confused mother, overwhelmed, likely unemployed, economiy insolvent, involved with an immature, irresponsible (who cheats), does not a mother make. Your Pan guy? Let him fly. If he grows up and gets into counseling with you, and seriously gets with the program (with actions words are cheap), you might let him earn his way back into your life. But let him in too easily, and you teach him that you'll tolerate anything. Demand better for yourself, your, and your unborn. I promise, being alone is far better than being in a turbulent relationship while you're trying to make a home for you and your -(ren). If you choose to keep this, he have no choice but to support him/her. Flip side of that coin is, you have no choice but to maintain a civil relationship with him with as you navigate custody, visitation, support, all that good stuff. Like I said, counseling, stat. You've got a lot to work out. I wish you the best of luck, and a lot of expert guidance. girl from essex
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