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I am now 50. When I was 38 my wife and I divorced after having 4. The oldest is now 29 and youngest at 15. Getting past the first sentence was the hardest thing I have ever done. After that, I cannot explain the feeling of so much weight lifted. For the first time I could get out of bed and not have to be an "actor". The First 3 years were very tough but probably no more than any other divorce., family, friends and neighbors all had to go through the experience. Thinking back though, I would NEVER have changed a thing. My best friend is my ex-wife. We have 4 wonderful and even a grandchild. We are a very close family. I am close to neighbors and friends. We all live in a small very rural community and we are known as a good family (we say we are a functioning disfunctional family just more open about it than others). I wish it worked out this well for everyone but I know it does not. As the new saying goes "it does get better". I wish you well during this possible new chapter of life. People and governments are finally realizing that everyone is different and thats ok. You really are not alone nor the only one. You have the right to a happy life. Take the. It work out great or not. But I promise in the end you FINALLY be able to breath freely just like anyone. You finally feel peace. Your daughters also come around. You are their father and in time they realize nothing has really changed other than they now you as happy. older women younger men AmzaraiI am a mother of 3 with an extremely (emotionally and verbally)abusive,controlling has ed me the worst of things throughout our marriage and has even refused to get medical attention for me when I couldn't get it for myself. A little insight to that situation;I fell on our patio at 3 am about 17 months ago trying to get his dog to come back after he took off before I could get him on his went out after him and slipped on ice flipping backward landing on the back of my am unsure if I ever lost consciousness. When I got up and crawled into the house, I could not a thing, my vision was was so dizzy I could barely crawl on my hands and knees without falling over. I finally made it back into the house screaming for my husband. He layed in bed upstairs yelling at me to shut the F up and just go to sleep because he had to be to work at 7 am. After a few minutes he finally decided to get out of bed. I was in the middle of our living room floor vomitting and falling into it face first for lack of balance. I have no idea how the exchange lasted of me begging for help and him saying shut the F up, stop over reacting.(To be clear I do not overdramatize injury or pain.)it felt like hours of him just verbally beating the crap out of me for getting hurt. In reality I am sure it was only minutes. My vision started to come back, things were still blurry but it was then I saw that he never even came all the way down the stairs. Here was his wife, the one he swore to honor and, laying face first,completely helpless in her own vomit and he didn't even come all the way down the stairs? I was helpless, couldn't think straight or straight for that matter. To add insult to injury (literally) when he returned from work that day I was laying on the couch STILL vomitting STILL unable to clearly. I told him I needed to go to the ER. His response, Oh you're still milking that huh? He finally drove me. It was that night I decided I didn't want to be here anymore and didn't want to be with him anymore. I should have left circumstances were no different then than they are today. The verbal is ongoing with an occasional feel so weak that I am not even sure I can make it on my have no way out and I don't even know where to there any services out there for someone that just needs out casual relationship
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