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I know this sounds goofy but it really makes a difference. My DH and I have well made every possible mistake that is possible for 2 very human beings to make and for us we find that if we can at least be polite and courteous, we can find our way back to each other. Lots of times it's hard to remember to be as courteous and considerate to our mates as we are to the stranger in the cubicle across the hall or our -' teacher or almost anyone outside the home. Big mistake. Yes you have issues both ways each of you has some hurts and some wants and some to offer. But it doesn't help if you're each fearful of what the next minute is going to bring. So if you can at least agree to be polite, there be a baseline of trust established. With that agreement, you have a framework to have discussions like how to survive until your first paycheck arrives or when he needs to if he's not coming home or why/when he needs to come home on a given weekend. Buying the house was a joint decision I assume if that's so, it or not have been the best thing to do but you two gotta deal with the realities of this first year together. I know sometimes we've really done some stupid financial things and have just had to agree they were stupid and dig out way out .together. Again, the polite thing. Part of the marriage vows is "honor" and "-" Have found them to be as important or more so than. is a feeling honoring and cherishing are actions. As as you honor and, the usually stays intact. Check out Smalley(sp?) on the topic of honor in marriage he has a really great way of illustrating it. We still blow it from time to time but it keeps making the difference in getting us back on track. You don't have to be a statistic. It really can all be good. Start with agreeing to be courteous. how that goes eventually move to what your goals in being together are keep reading up on things, get counseling or do a marriage weekend. One step at a time. Am so sorry you're hurting it is ok to expect decent treatment no matter what. granny swinger Nashua
has urges of some type or not? Just because his urges are a bit confusing because they are for a, doesn't make him any different than the guy who has Urges for the cute secretary down the hall. It is up to him to cheat on his wife or not. it speaks only to his character what he does. If he went into the marriage to 'save himself' from 'unnatural' urges, than the wife was duped from the beginning. If he is no longer attracted to his wife, then he needs to have a discussion with her, that probably end badly, or keep his mouth shut and his wedding vows close to his heart. donation for dick 21 e Elwood Iowa 21My whole life is nothing more than a shattered hall of mirrors. It was an illusion. My wife (we've been together 15 years) had an affair. I still wanted to work it out to spare our two boys (5 and 1.) Now she's decided it's not going to work out and wants to leave me. Her family lives in New Jersey. Mine, here in Massachusetts. She wants to take my two boys back to New Jersey to live and expects me to leave my family and just plant myself there with nothing and nobody. She basiy said, it shouldn't be a lot to ask to be near the boys. Let's review. She has an affair. I still fight for our marriage to save the family to spare the. She wants to destroy our family and divorce. She wants to take my boys (the most important thing in my life!) away and expects me to move there if I want to be apart of their lives. Does anyone SELFISH here? Massachusetts has 'no fault' divorce. So nothing factors in on that part. But surely, the judge would have to take all of this into consideration (add the fact I work with special needs for a living) and not give her full custody. I know woman usually have the upper hand on these things. But I was also a stay-at-home dad for over two years with our oldest. Hopefully that factors as well. I'm blabbing. I put this here so I could vent and figured this definitely falls into the Ethos category. Affair=Total disregard for the boys' well being Destroying the family=Total disregard for the boys' well being Uprooting them and taking them away from their Dad (who they to death)=Total disregard for the boys' well being. OMG, I'm just numb. Yes, I'm crushed that the person I promised to spend a lifetime with and have been with for the past 15 years wants to leave me. But I'm more worried about my boys and the prospects of either losing them or having to plant myself in New Jersey with nobody and nothing. I have a lot of sorted memories from living there before. The only good memories I had of New Jersey were of meeting my wife and having fun with her there. Now those are nothing but more painful memories. Ok, I'll stop. I'm just so numb! chatroulette adult version
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