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all turtles are slow- even you. I want you to know that the decision I made did not come easy. I missed you and think of you often still. When I came over that night, I did not know what was to come. Running on instinct isn't always the best for me. I always remember those Thursday nights with a nostalgic longing. I wanted those nights back; for things to return to how they were. But this last time I realized that wasn't to be. It wasn't the same. I still haven't figured out why. Maybe it is because of all the ups and downs we have had. Or perhaps it was because I was conflicted about him. Whatever the reason I have chose to trust that things worked out the way they did for a reason. I know you disagree. I may be wrong. But I remain believing in the notion that 'if we were meant to be, then we would already be.' Plus, I do not want to short change him at all. He is a good man. We may have some communication failures at times and less passion than you and I, but he encourages me to pursue even when all I want to do is run. So for that I am grateful. He deserves more than I can give him. Especially since some of me will always be with you. I just pray this decision won't come with later regret.
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I'll try to make it short: Married 2 years, DH lost interest in sex within months of the wedding, after so much rejection I quit trying to be intimate with him. We finally made it into marriage counseling but we had to change counselors several times. Our latest counselor has helped a bit. Our homework for the week was to decide on a day of the week to have sex. It was supposed to be last. He didn't want to have sex until after I was asleep night, so we moved the date until Wednesday but he was too tired. Thursday neither one of us brought it up. Finally today around 5:00, I was feeling frisky so I initiated and he said he needed to shower and manscape. We had to pick up our dog from the groomer by 6:30, so I told him to hurry. Around 5:45, he came to find me and had the computer. He wanted to show me this video about how to give an amazing blow job. I was excited about it until 10-15 minutes had gone by and he hadn't even found the video and our window for sex was shrinking. Finally, I said, "Why don't I go get the dog and we'll resume this later." He wanted to have sex right then. I told him I didn't want to rush and be worried about the time the whole time. He said he wanted to right then. I said fine and spent the whole 20 minutes feeling resentful. He said he wanted to talk about it since it didn't seem like I enjoyed it and I told him that I felt like I had to have sex since he's the one who basiy controls when we do it. The other issue is that the resentment over the 2 years of rejection has really made me lose attraction to him. He is a very attractive guy and I felt repulsion during sex. I can't say that to him, but is there anything i can do about it? Has anyone here ever recover from feelings like this? Is it worth trying? I know the lack of attraction from my side is probably a result of resentment. How do I let that go? Was I completely unreasonable to be upset about the sexcapade today? bbw looking to Soso Mississippi the year off right
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