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yes i suppose im just comingout of the in shock phase and am trying to what others have done in this situation and how they have fared etc. i took my wows very seriously "to have and to.. till etc.. "and i shouldnt have. I grew up more conservative i guess and she was a bit more liberal i dont know. i keep trying to rationalize my actions and her actions and i keep coming back to the same odd point. they should have a wedding wow disclaimer sentnce (i have an affair.. blah blah). like i said i grew upwith the standard model of a family "as seen on tv" loving wife, working husband, etc etc. and thats how i was raised. Thats what i expected. Her family was even more conservative then mine. Im glad for this forum and id like to thank everyone who made comments. I appreciate the advice. It has helped me in my resolve on what i should do and maybe a few approaches. I know some have lived through this in one way or another. I dont wish it for anyone its not cool. youre also right "whatsname" about the "ball-less wimp" that thought did come to mind but, im ok with my masculinity. i am strong. I it as more a breakdown of of the trust that i perceived existed, or was led to exist. getting on-the-side is not me, i know some folks could do that easily and maybe itll help them. but then what. i it as becoming an "i did this" and "you did this" argument, would that work, would it level the field of resentment? maybe. i think its going to depend on whether she wants an open marriage or repair of our existing. i think its going to be along road regardless. i was hoping for an emotional train ride with wonderful stops, instead i got the roller coaster ride. One sad tidbit in all of this is that i found out about this in the middle of a family medical emergency. So it was a double emotianal roller coaster in one day. oh well i think just writing here and reading some comments has givenme some strength. take care everyone. naked pussy AbbotsfordI think when ageplay includes the sexual component, it makes me uncomfortable because as an adult, I'm told (and rightfully so) that a -'s/teen's sexuality is not my domain to be in. I remember that time in my own life. The discoveries about who I was at the time, what my body was like, what I was capable of then in comparison to now I remember those times and look on them fondly. But the reason for that is because those memories, those experiences are mine. If I sexualize my own past, it's not "creepy" or inappropriate. But when other people come into focus, even if it's Mr. Vengeance or start to feel a fair amount of discomfort. Maybe I should, maybe I shouldn't. But if wants to be "-" or "little" in a non sexual context, I can give him that. I can give him safety, nurturing, and non sexual affection. That I'm capable of, and am willing to do. It was just a shock at first. I'm still wondering why I never saw the writing on the wall with him. adult service
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