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need to relieve stress badly this was the start of a very painful end. i decided to break up w/my girlfriend b/c i felt terrible about what i had done, and i felt she deserved better. she begged me not to leave her, that we could work it out. we tried. eventually, i decided i wanted us to take a break no contact whatsoever. i wanted to what we would do without each other now i regret that choice. after 2 months of no contact whatsoever, we saw each other at my sister's shower. we kissed, hugged each other and told ea. other how much we missed the other. i discovered that during the break she had started attending raves and was heavily into ecstasy, something i could not put up w/it. in the end, i gave her the ultimatum: me or the. she chose the. i lost it. i was furious. hurt. betrayed. fast forward: her mother ed my house to tell my mum (whom i still live w/) how happy she was that her daughter was dating a GUY! i was CRUSHED! i wrote her via fb, and told her how i couldn't believe how quickly she replaced me, only after 4 months of me giving her a choice of or me. i'll spare whoever is reading this a longer novel but here is what has me so deeply devastated, to the point that I FEEL LIKE DYING . i found out that after i gave her ultimatum, she went on a coke binge, and was close to overdosing. the guy who she started dating was there to "nurse her back to health". so she started seeing him. a little bit later ..she was raped. i feel so guilty about this! she was raped by an uncle who had previously molested her as a. now i don't know what to do. she has mentioned doing other things she is ashamed of, hinting at the fact that she performed sexual acts for during the break up, etc. we are friends now and i am trying to help her as much as i can. she had left this guy she was with in order to give US a, but the pull of dominating a sexually was too great, and she is back with him. in her own words, she is using him "just for sex". i am sure she is doing it as a means to reclaim ownership of her body. as a way to feel in control of her sexuality again. and now, i feel like the more she has meaningless sex w/this guy, the more confused she be. she also started drinking excessively and doing shrooms. this guy lets her do whatever she wants b/c he doesn't want to "change her". i feel so lost. bbw looking for an ongoing fwb
ca65 chat with bbw Fairless Hills PennsylvaniaI think purt near everyone here knows about my passion, but prior to ten years ago I didn't know it existed. I did good work as an admin, and certain things made me feel fulfilled (I finishing projects), but I've found something that gives me that feeling waaay more often. I always loved, have never minded getting dirty, problem solving and medicine, and it wasn't natural for me to try to fit into corporate either by behavior, looks, or mindset. My office jobs never took kindly to my hippie/rebel side, and even though I'd nearly forgotten it existed (I wore bows in my hair, no lie!), I still struggled with trying to fit in and couldn't communicate with others about things I had no interest in. I suspect that finding one's passion is about the parts that resonate with you and what you find deeply satisfying: Do you like problem solving? Working with others? Is being a part of a bigger movement important? Do you getting your hands dirty? Do you find organizing to give you a rush of endorphins? Is the rush from winning the prize a moment that fills you with pride months later? What activities do you doing, that give you a rush or endorphins or really complete satisfaction? If it's kayaking, what are the careers available there? Do you like teaching, too? Do they do rescue work or surveying via kayak? Does a better kayak need to be developed? I'm much rambling here, just exploring the concept for myself. Thanks for letting me! xxx date
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