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ca65 shy married fem seeks single shy femI am a questioning female who feels the need to justify why she does not like interacting in any way with a penis. I have had negative experiences with men and have also suffered sexual trauma (rape). My avoidance of coitus with a has caused much complaint from my male partners and is the downfall of all my relationships with them. The message I have gotten by the men in my life is that the reason why I avoid sex is because I was raped or that there is something wrong with me. There is no connection during sex and I’m much checked out the whole time. Yet I’m not freaking out or panicked, anxious. In my twenties I used to cry afterwards and it was physiy painful during, but now I’m just sort of numb. I would still cry now during sex if it is with someone new; after that I just go to numb. I not only physiy reject penis but also have negative emotional and intellectual reactions to sex with men. I have always had very strong feelings about the way men treat women. I was very sensitive as a and was angered by the misogynistic view men had of women. I was also angered by the way men described women sexually and did not want to be one of those women they were talking about (about how much they, etc). I have never dressed up for men or presented myself sexually to them. I realized a while ago that what I really want from men is a platonic and affectionate relationship but that I do not want a sexual relationship with them. I am not asexual, I do want sexual and emotional intimacy with someone. When I'm attracted to a women I feel so good; it is a real high. If I could be me and have no barriers whatsoever, I would meet this really cool chick who was beautiful (to me, I’m not attracted to straight girls), smart, funny and goofy. We would have amazing sex and be madly in. So here is my central question: am I truly disinterested in sex with men or am I just looking for an excuse not to sleep with men? Am I really interested in women or am I just looking for an excuse not to sleep with men? I mean, to a large extent it just doesn't fucking matter because I do not want to sleep with men! Get it, world?! I mean, fuck you if you don't like it, Planet Earth, but I don't like -! meet local swingers
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just want a drink First off, sorry about your situation, that sucks. She sounds like she has some serious issues, and should probably get help. You can't force her to get help though, perhaps suggest it, and if she takes it fine, if not that her decision. Either way, though, I'd sever contact with her, it'll only hurt you both. Secondly, and I don't want to sound like a, but you are also responsible for this mess just as much as her. It sounds like you enabled her behavior. And honestly, you say that you are not needy, but you keep trying to justify her behavior, forgiving her, and letting her do it again. It sucks to a nice guy getting taken advantage of, I've been there, but you need to stop trying to cater to her every whim and think about what is best for you. I realize its a hard situation, but the best thing to do is kick her to the curb, and not speak to her again. I don't think it was a move of you to ask your friends not to invite her, especially if they know about your relationship with her (I don't know how much you've told them about it). im bored and want a man
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