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In my 20's I spent about 5 years in AA. I also went to NA, but felt more comfortable in AA. I met a really amazing woman that I was friends with for years. When I decided AA was not for me, she let go. She had a tremendous influence on my life and I always treasure her wisdom and the nurturing she gave at a time in my life that I it was crucial for my survival. As for dating anyone in a program, probably not. I got close to one person that after 20 years of sobriety committed suicide after a diagnosis of cancer. One friend that went on a binge after 3 years sober and died from choking on his own vomit. One that I went to an out of town that got drunk and decided to steal beer from a convenience store. When I got out of my car to why he was being arrested, I was then arrested and spent to weekend in jail and the Monday after going back to this small town trying to get my car out of hock. I rented a room to one member of AA who was actually a meth addict and dissapeared for a week and wanted to come back while he was using. Another roommate locked me out of my own house while he was sniffing paint. I did not know about this habit as it was not disclosed before he moved in. So, if it is someone that has "recovered" I would consider, but only with a lot of time and no tattoo's proclaiming their "sobriety". I haven't touched cocain since. Believe me, it was not easy to quit. I thought of it everyday for a year. I no longer crave it at all. In fact, I would't touch it if offered on a silver platter. When I was in the process of quitting, I never thought I would get there. girl at student service help desk
I'm trying to find a good couples therapist and haven't had a lot of success. I was in individual therapy for about 3-4 months until my relationship with that therapist went bad and she terminated our therapy. The issue that I was mainly seeing her about was trying to figure out how to work things out between me and my wife regarding my to have a kinky poly relationship and her wanting a monogamous vanilla one. yes i know my wife and i don't sound like a great match, but it is too complicated to just DTMFA (she's a 3rd world immigrant with no means of support, i care deeply about her, my family loves her, etc.). and i really do want to save our relationship. hence looking for a therapist. we found one couples counselor and had one session where we really hit it off with her, but then she contacted me and said that an old client had come back into town with some problems and she needed to give them our scheduled appointment and had no other room in her calendar. i've contacted some other therapists, specifiy looking for ones with kink/poly experience, without success they don't have time in their schedules. and honestly i'm feeling kind of down about looking for a therapist now. I had a lot of negative experiences with psychiatry on my own several years ago (including hospitalization that I still consider wrong), and rightly or wrongly i'm feeling somewhat betrayed by the last two practitioners, and so I've had a lot of trouble putting myself out there to really look hard for someone who can help us out. my wife doesn't want to put any effort into looking for a therapist because she says this is all my problem and she's willing to go along with it but doesn't a need to take an active role in making this happen. she comes from a culture that doesn't respect psychotherapy, so I feel like I'm constantly battling her feelings that this is a silly Western waste of $$$ and that we should figure this out for ourselves. anyways, hoping you all have some advice about looking for couples therapy when one is feeling discouraged and uncomfortable about the process. barefoot blonde haired Tin Can BayTelling after all these years would never haunt me. I am so from that sleepy little town there is no going back. But I don't burn anyone for the sake of doing it. The part that bothers me is there are things I did that caused things in her life to turn out the way they did. There are girls who made her life miserable at the time because of me and she had no idea that was the reason. We were friends since we were 3. She never thought for a minute (or maybe she did and deserves credit). And I wasn't in a place to explain say it out loud. I have always felt I stole from her life. If she hadn't been my friend she would not have been such an outcast. Being an outcast turned her into a bitter person. By explaining it all to her I kinda feel I could take some of that from her. But who knows maybe she would have turned out bitter anyway. I am not bitter and I lived it. Every lesbian has horror stories of growing up. That's why I think most of us become such insightful adults. I wouldn't take back a minute of it come to think of it. adult dating forum
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