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no other way to say it i need to get laid people who just use the way they dress/act/look as purely a tool of arousal for themselves and others. There is no importance to the idea of gender for them beyond getting them hard. While I don't really have a problem with that, either (honesty, I never denounce the importance of fetish) I don't consider crossdressers to be in the same category as people who are journeying though gender/identity and trying to find a place to stake their claim. After a fun night out on the town, a crossdresser can put away the heels and go back to the buttondown without blinking (yes, I am dealing only with male crossdressers here, I've never met any women I'd consider crossdressers, aside from Drag Kings, and that tends to be political and thought provoking). It's just not that easy for people with complicated self views on gender/identity/sexuality/etc. On a more personal level, most crossdressers I've met tend to overemphasize femininity. It makes me less comfortable to exist in the same space, since I've never been terribly comfortable with my own. The same also goes for any bio women who go to feminine extremes. sexy hot elderly with teens
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